


Closer

by caesar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Feels, Good Parent Grisha Yeager, Mentions of Cancer, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Siblings, Modern Era, No graphic mentions, Only Mentioned Here and There, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, RivaHisu, Sex, The Yeager Family is the all together, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, but only in like two chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-07-18 01:19:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16107785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caesar/pseuds/caesar
Summary: “Why are you lonely? You could probably have anyone if you asked. So why are you talking to someone as shitty as me?”“Because you seem like you know loneliness, too.”





	1. loneliness

The bar is bustling with movement, and there’s music pounding and the bass shakes her bones to her core. She’s working her way through the throng of people to the bar, brushing by men and women who eye her enviously as she passes them by.

 

Historia makes it to the bar and orders a whiskey and coke before turning to look around for someone; she’s looking for someone to either grovel, to worship her, or to utterly break her and her spirit. Her sharp blue eyes trail over each person until she is handed her drink, and then she turns to go stand along the wall and is faced with the most beautiful specimen she’s ever seen before.

 

He has dark hair that’s shaven into an undercut, in a black button up and black pants tight enough to be sinful. His own dark eyes rake over her slowly until they meet hers, and she’s frozen on the spot by some unknown feeling in her chest. She’s suddenly hyperaware that she’s in a tiny tank top exposing her midriff and a lot of her cleavage, leaving little to the imagination as far as her torso goes. Her own jeans fit her legs snugly but don’t show any skin.

 

“You lost, princess?” The stranger asks, dark eyes focused on hers.

 

Historia takes a sip of her drink before shaking her head. “Not at all. Are you?”

 

“Not anymore,” he responds swiftly, taking a step closer to her. He pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and slips one between his lips, holding out the pack to her in a silent offer. She shakes her head and he lights his cigarette, taking a deep drag before refocusing his sharp gaze on her. “You look too nice to belong here.”

 

“You don’t know the first thing about me,” Historia spits in response, her walls starting to go up as a defense mechanism.

 

The attractive stranger only smokes his cigarette as he stares her down, almost looking bored while he does so. “That’s true. I guess I’m shit outta luck.” He turns and walks away from her, leaving her standing there feeling like an idiot.

 

Historia waits a few minutes until she follows in the direction where he went—she ends up outside where the music is not as painfully loud and there’s open tables for people to sit and drink around. She spots him at a table in the corner smoking his cigarette with a few other people, but she doesn’t approach him. She chooses instead to sit by herself and nurse her drink.

 

If Historia was honest with herself, she truly doesn’t know what she’s hoping to happen.

 

She just wants to be close to the dark haired man whose gaze has barely left her since she walked out. She gets on her phone and checks various apps, busying herself as she drinks.

 

About fifteen minutes goes by and Historia is about willing to abandon her mission to not be alone for the night and head home until she registers that someone is sitting across from her. She raises her eyes and is met by a stormy gaze.

 

“You looked lonely,” he explains before she asks, his expression neutral.

 

“Do you think you can fix that?” Historia quips back, eyeing him from over the rim of her glass as she drinks. He raises an eyebrow slightly as his eyes shine at the challenge. However, his response is painfully honest when he speaks again.

 

“Maybe not forever. But I can try to tonight.”

 

She doesn’t quite know how to mask her emotions in that moment; she finishes her drink instead. “My name is Historia,” she offers, glancing down at his hands as he lights another cigarette. His fingers are slender.

 

“Levi,” he responds, his eyes lingering on her collarbone before raising back to her gaze. “So, Historia,” her stomach flips as Levi tries her name on his tongue, “why are you lonely? You seem like a perfectly lovely girl. You could probably have anyone if you asked. So why are you talking to someone as shitty as me?”

 

Fuck, she thinks. “Because you know that I could have anyone else.” Historia takes a deep breath, unsure of why she’s being so vulnerable to someone she doesn’t know, yet who seems so familiar to her. “Because you seem like you know loneliness, too.”

 

Levi stares at her, the stony composure slipping for a fracture of a second. Within that moment, she sees sadness in those dark eyes.

 

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

 

She goes home with him.

 

* * *

 

The walk is short; his condo isn’t far from the bar, apparently. They walk in a comfortable silence until they arrive at the door of the building. They make it to the elevator, and after the doors shut Levi turns to look at her, expression as bored as it’s been all night.

 

“You don’t strike me as someone who goes home alone with strange men,” Levi suddenly says, breaking the silence. Historia laughs, surprising him.

 

“Are you saying you’re a strange man?”

 

“I could be.”

 

She considers his words. “I’m already here, alone with you,” she murmurs, stepping close to Levi until they’re inches apart. His breath mingles with hers, eyes trained on her lips until the elevator dings, announcing their arrival to his floor. Levi takes her hand as they walk to his door, and the gesture is so innocent it makes Historia’s already racing heart flutter.

 

Once inside, he locks the door behind him and tosses the keys onto the nearest surface and slipping off his shoes. While he does so, Historia takes in the living area—it’s so clean, she can almost smell it. It’s also very minimal, not quite feeling like a home.

 

The thought makes her chest tighten as she empathizes perfectly with the feeling.

 

She’s broken out of her trance when Levi places a gentle hand on her shoulder, moving to the back of her neck while his other hand cradles her cheek. She’s so close to him that she can see freckles on his nose and his cheeks dusted pink. He takes too long to close the distance between them, so she does it for him.

 

When their lips finally meet, there’s electricity.

 

Something inside her has awakened, and she works her fingers through his silky hair, enjoying the feel of the buzzed hair of his undercut on his neck. His tongue slips past her lips, reciprocating her enthusiasm, and he moves them until he presses her against a wall, their bodies flush together as they kiss.

 

Levi moves his hands to her ass, moving just below so he can pick her up, which startles her at first and she gasps in surprise. Historia catches his grinning at the noise, and she wraps her legs around his waist when she feels comfortable in his home. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispers against her lips. She silences him with another kiss. When his arms start to shake, he carries her to his bedroom and he places her on the bed with gentle care, his lips barely leaving hers. He pulls away for a moment and looks down at her, his bangs falling over his eyes that are full of lust, his lips swollen from kissing her.

 

“You’re a dream,” Historia blurts out, and she’s shocked when outright laughs, a smile spreading across his face fully for the first time all night. She feels herself blush from embarrassment, unsure of what he’s laughing at.

 

Levi picks up on her discomfort and tries to ease her worry with a soft kiss to her cheek. “You must have fucked up somewhere along the line to think I’m a dream, love,” he speaks against her skin in a breathy voice.

 

“You have no idea,” she retorts, finding her confidence again and she tries to get rid of his shirt while finding his mouth with hers.

 

His clothes smell like menthol cigarettes and his skin smells lightly of a musky cologne, and nothing has ever smelled sexier.

 

“You sure you know what you’re doing, princess?” He asks in a teasing voice between kisses as her hands fumble with the buttons on his shirt.

 

Historia’s cheeks flush a wonderful shade of red, and his eyes widen impossibly larger at the sight. “N-no,” she stutters, looking away from him as he kisses her neck, his tongue dragging across her skin. She moans, her body shivering at the stimulation. He moves his mouth to be near her ear, and his breath is hot on her skin as he speaks.

 

“I’ll show you what it means to make love to someone,” he breathes, and she melts against him as he nibbles her earlobe. He makes quick work of slipping off her shirt, appreciating the small black bralette that was hidden underneath. “Cute,” he grins against her lips, making her blush more. If she turns any more red, she’ll probably be permanently flushed.

 

Levi unbuttons his own shirt, tossing it somewhere behind him. He slips his hands underneath her, his fingers pausing when he finds the clip to her bralette. “Is this okay?” Historia nods, eager to feel his skin against hers. Once it’s off, Levi throws it where his shirt landed and he sits back on his heels, silently looking at her.

 

“What is it?” Historia asks, feeling uncomfortable by the sudden pause of movement.

 

“You’re divine,” he answers, sliding his hands up from her waist to just under her breasts.

 

“Don’t just tell me,” she replies, and his eyes find hers again. “Show me.”

 

Levi does as he’s told diligently, kissing his way up her torso, stopping to admire her breasts with his mouth. Her back arches and she moans, spurring him on with more energy. He unbuttons her jeans and pulls them off with her underwear in one swift motion, leaving her naked before him. “Take those off,” she tells him, pointing at his own pants, to which he obliges without question. One their both bare to one another, he moves down, kissing the inside her thigh, moving closer to her center before she stops him, putting her hand over his mouth. Levi looks up at her with some confusion which only grows when he realizes her hand is trembling against his face.

 

“We can stop,” Levi says seriously, moving back up to be near her face. She shakes her head, taking a deep breath.

 

“No, just...not that.” Historia tells him, silently pleading for him not to ask.

 

He doesn’t ask, kissing her instead.

 

Historia sighs into his mouth, reaching down to touch him. “Please,” she says between kisses. He reaches over to his nightstand and grabs a condom, pulling away to open it and wrap himself as he looks at her, really taking in the view.

 

Her golden hair is splayed out on his sheets, her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are fixed on him. Her skin is dotted with freckles on her cheeks and shoulders, a sign that she spends time in the sun. He puts his hands on her hips and gently squeezes, admiring how her figure is full at the waist. “I want to have you,” he tells her.

 

“Then take me,” she responds immediately.

 

Levi situates himself at her entrance and he leans over her as he pushes gently, eyes never leaving her face as her eyes shut, making a noise that makes him want to do this forever. “Fuck, you’re perfect,” he groans as he fills her, feeling her tighten around him.

 

“Let me adjust,” Historia squeaks. “I—I, uh, haven’t done this before.”

 

Levi almost pulls out at this, suddenly unsure of what the right thing to do is. “What?”

 

She wraps her legs around his waist, wiggling slightly on him. “Not with a man.” She doesn’t divulge deeper, not wanting to tell her life story while Levi is inside her. “Please. I want you. I’m okay.”

 

Levi feels a sense of possessiveness take over him, and he kisses her, moving his hips slowly. “Are you comfortable?” He asks. Her arms reach around to his back, feeling the toned muscles beneath her fingers.

 

“Yes,” Historia answers with a moan, and he thrusts faster, burying his face against her neck as he kisses her skin. She digs her nails into his skin without realizing it, yet he shivers and bites her shoulder, both of them leaving marks on the other.

 

“I’m close,” Levi groans, and she reaches between them to touch herself as he fucks her. “Come with me,” he moves to kiss her as he thrusts. She is able to quickly bring herself to her climax as he moves inside her, the feeling lingering as she’s slightly overstimulated, and he quickly follows suit, pulling out as he finishes in the condom.

 

They breath heavily for a moment, and he kisses her gently.

 

Levi gets up and he walks out of the room, Historia sitting up as she looks around in silence. After a moment he returns with clean hands and no condom, still nude. She isn’t sure what to do next, but he seems to know this and he sits beside her.

 

“Will you stay?” He asks, his face still red from their activity.

 

“Do you want me to?” _What’s the correct answer here?_ she wonders.

 

Levi raises a hand to touch her shoulder, much like he did when she first entered his home. “I’m asking, so yes.”

 

Historia nods, leaning forward to kiss him, nibbling on his lower lip for a second before pulling away. The surprised expression makes her laugh. “You have to keep me warm then,” she tells him. He grins, grabbing her by the waist and pulling him back down on the bed with him, the movement so light-hearted it makes her smile wider. They pull the sheets over them, and he pulls her close. They’re both still naked but the feeling of their skin on each other keeps their energy up just a little longer.

 

She pushes him down, laying on his chest and looking down at him. He pushes her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. “Are you going to disappear in the morning?”

 

The question throws Historia off guard, her smile faltering. “I—I don’t know,” she answers honestly.

 

Levi hides his disappointment perfectly, rubbing his thumb along her cheek. “Let me make the most of this now, then.”

 

He pulls her close to kiss her, and they lay awake, lazily kissing each other and worshiping each other’s bodies until the late hours when they finally fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

Historia wakes up first, slightly disoriented when she doesn’t recognize the room or the smells until she looks beside her and sees Levi still asleep.

 

His expression is peaceful, his chest rising and falling easily as he breathes. A part of her wants to wake him up and have him fuck her again, but another part tells her to leave before he wakes. It tells her that she doesn’t deserve someone who is as gentle as him, that he’ll discard her anyway like everyone else.

 

She listens to the latter, quietly getting dressed as Levi sleeps.

 

Historia makes it to the front door, hand on the knob as she thinks of Levi’s voice.

 

_Are you going to disappear in the morning?_

 

Her heart hurts.

 

She turns around and walks back into the bedroom. He is still sleeping. With how organized and clean his room is, she doesn’t see any paper anywhere. Silently cursing, she goes back out and finds the kitchen, but still sees no pen or paper. She doesn’t want to go through his belongings but she doesn’t want to leave without any traces of her visit. She pulls out drawers, trying to find that one junk drawer everyone has where there’s assorted pens, papers, clips, any and all kinds of shit that one just tosses in.

 

Historia finally finds it, and even that drawer is organized. She shakes her head at how clean Levi is. She pulls out a pen and a notepad, and once she’s satisfied with what she writes, she makes her exit and starts her walk back home.

 

_321-XXX-XXXX_

_Maybe I can help you next time you’re lonely, too._

_Historia Reiss_

 

* * *

 

Later that day Historia received a message from an unknown number, and she feels her heart race when she reads it.

 

_It’s Levi. If you’re free on Friday night, I’d like to take you up on your offer, princess._


	2. desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the hard conversation is had...kind of. surprise cameo midway through. more sex.

Friday comes sooner than Historia expects, and she finds herself back at Levi’s place, and she’s already kissing him again when she walks through his door.

 

He’s wearing a button up with a tie and slacks, and she’s only in a green sweater dress. The tie makes her want him even more and seeing her legs makes him want to worship her.

 

The sofa is closer than the bed so they stumble to that, and Historia straddles his waist. His hands instantly go to her hips, gripping her tightly as she sucks on his lower lip. He moves one hand to her thigh, inching it higher until he makes a pleasant discovery.

 

“Oh.” Levi smiles greedily as he feels the bare skin of her hip under her dress. “Princess, you spoil me,” he says in a deep voice, moving his hand to her center. She’s already slick, so he slips a digit inside, and she bites her lip. The sight is ephemeral. “You’re perfect. Just for me,” he breathes against her lips before kissing her again, his hand continuing its movements. Historia manages to undo his belt, pulling it out of the pants loops and tossing it aside before unbuttoning his pants. She reaches past his boxer briefs and pulls him out, already fairly erect.

 

Historia strokes him, and he adds another finger to her, making her moan. “Levi,” she whispers, “don’t you dare stop.” He chuckles against her mouth, and with his free hand he works his fingers in her hair and guides her head slightly above his so he can kiss her neck, licking underneath her jaw. She pauses her stroking to loosen his tie and completely unbuttons his shirt, admiring the toned chest and abdominal muscles beneath. “Fuck me, you’re hot,” Historia says, her hand returning to him.

 

“Is that what you want, princess?” Levi asks through a moan.

 

“Yes. Now fuck me.”

 

Levi removes his fingers from her and manages to reach under him for his wallet in his back pocket, and he pushes his pants and boxers down just enough to totally free himself. He pulls a condom out from his wallet and tosses the wallet aside. She raises an eyebrow at him stashing a condom in his wallet and he has the decency to look sheepish. “I didn’t know if we’d stay here or go out and I wanted to be prepared,” he explains, and she’s pleased with his answer.

 

Historia wasn’t exactly planning it, but she knew she wanted to have him again before the night was out.

 

Now that the condom is on, Levi grips her waist underneath her dress and pulls her on him, but she stops when only his head is inside of her. He looks at her face, and she’s smiling. She leans in close to him, pressing her cheek to his as she murmurs in his ear, “You’ve got to be patient. How badly do you want this?”

 

“So badly,” he gasps. She inches down slowly. “Please.” She moves back up, and down again on his tip. “Historia.” With both hands free, he pushes her dress off easily, and since he can’t actually move inside her, he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, hoping to spur on more movement. Historia lets out a high pitched noise and she slides down on him, filled by his length. He moans loudly, and he moves his mouth to her other breast, rocking inside of her slowly. She puts one hand on the sofa behind him to balance herself, the other on his shoulder to do the same.

 

“Levi.” His name sounds like honey on her lips, and he can’t get enough of it. “Levi.”

 

Her thighs tremble as she rolls her hips, and her breathing is heavy. Levi looks up at her flushed face and runs his hands up her back, her skin soft beneath his calloused hands. “H-Historia,” he stutters, “you’re am-amazing. Beautiful. Ah, I wish I can have you always.”

 

Historia cries out as he hits some spot deep in her, and he stops talking as he thrusts up into her, eager to hear that sound again. He quickly reaches his climax as she makes that wonderful noise again, and she collapses onto him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as they both catch their breath.

 

He rests his face in the crook of her neck, and he notices that beyond the smell of sex, she smells lightly of vanilla. He wonders if it’s lotion or perfume. His hands are still on her back, and he traces her spine with his fingertips with light movements. She shivers and sighs contently.

 

They won’t admit it to each other, but being held feels like home when it’s with the other person there.

 

“I’d like to shower,” Levi says quietly into her skin. “Would you care to join me?”

 

Historia pulls away from him just far enough to look at his face. He looks sincere and earnest with fondness in his eyes. “Yes,” she whispers, climbing off of him. She follows to his bathroom where he starts the shower, cleans off the condom, and pulls out a clean towel from a tiny closet. The water warms quickly and he gets in, Historia hesitating for a second behind him before doing the same.

 

She looks at him, the hot water feeling nice on her bare skin. “Hi,” she smiles shyly, and he returns the small smile.

 

“Hello.” Levi leans down and kisses her gently, and her heart races.

 

This is too intimate, but she wants it—she wants more.

 

They silently wash their hair, and she uses his face wash to scrub at what little makeup she has on. As she does so, Levi is admiring her figure as water runs down her body, raising his gaze slowly back up at her to realize he’s been caught ogling.

 

“Sorry,” he mutters, embarrassed. He grabs the body wash and squeezes some out onto his hand, and he looks at her bright eyes as he asks, “may I?”

 

It takes her a second, but Historia nods. Levi’s touch is caring and careful, rubbing the soap onto her skin all over. He rubs her shoulders, rubbing over her torso—and blushes as he runs his hands over her breasts—and works his way down her legs. He runs his hands down her arms, his hands lingering at her own smaller hands, and she marvels at the way he treats her with care.

 

“How old are you, Historia?” Levi breaks the silence as he lets go of her hands, lathering himself up in soap.

 

“22,” She answers without a second thought. “You?”

 

Levi almost looks guilty. “I’m 31.” He is worried that she’ll freak at the gap, but she seems unbothered, so he doesn’t stress about how much older he is. “What do you do for work?”

 

“I teach kindergarten at Sina Elementary.” Historia looks at him curiously. “Why the sudden interest?”

 

“Well, I’d like to know you outside of my bed,” he ventures to say, unsure of how to tackle this conversation. He places his hands on her waist, his touch light. She unconsciously leans into the touch.

 

Historia nods, not wanting to admit to the same desire. “There’s not much to know, but okay.”

 

When Levi looks at her, there’s an odd flash in his eyes, he won’t say it but it’s sorrow. This girl before him is beautiful and the little he knows makes him want all of her, but she doesn’t even want herself. He wants to show her how perfect she is, but he doesn’t want to scare her off.

 

“I don’t believe that,” Levi’s voice is deep as he speaks, leaning close to her again to catch her lips. He runs his tongue along her lips, and she sighs against his.

 

“I thought you said you wanted to know me outside of your bed,” she pointedly says.

 

He grins through into her kiss. “I mean, we’re _not_ in my bed.” The bad joke makes her laugh, and his heart swells at the sound.

 

The water starts to run cold, so they get out of the shower and dry off in silence while eyeing each other as they do so. Historia pulls her dress back on, and Levi changes into jeans and a white T-shirt, showing off his toned arms. Historia wants to jump him again for it but her stomach growls loudly, deterring any arousal that may come back.

 

Levi’s lips turn up at her stomach rumbling. “There’s a great diner down the block if you want to get a bite.” She nods in response before tracking down her shoes that were left somewhere near the front door.

 

* * *

 

The walk to the diner is short, seeing as it’s very literally a block away. She feels out of place walking into a public place with Levi since she hardly knows him, and this feeling only elevates once she’s greeted enthusiastically by none other than Keith Shadis once they enter.

 

Well, as enthusiastically as Shadis can emote.

 

“Historia!” He bellows from the counter, startling the server and few customers inside. “What a sight for sore eyes. And you,” Shadis refocuses his sharp gaze to Levi. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, you shit.” Levi steps forward and gives Shadis a firm handshake, expression stony but his lips turned up slightly at the corners.

 

“Keith. Good to see you.” Levi glances at Historia, who comes to his side slowly, unsure of how to approach this scenario. Levi places his hand on the small of her back, and Shadis picks up on this instantly and sharply turns on Levi. “Keith, this is—“

 

“The best damn thing to ever happen to you,” Shadis finishes for him, catching both Levi and Historia by surprise, who both blush at the comment. Shadis focuses on Historia. “This bastard is rough, but a good man. But if he so much as breathes the wrong way you tell me and I’ll kick his ass,” he says seriously. This finally breaks Historia’s composure and she lets out a nervous laugh.

 

“Levi, Shadis is the principal for the school I work for.”

 

For a moment, Levi looks like he’s about to shit himself, and he nearly does.

 

“I won’t hold you kiddos up any longer. But listen here, Levi,” Shadis says with a frightening sincerity, “you better treat this lady like the fucking queen she is, you understand?”

 

Levi nods, his steel composition back in place. “Yes, sir.”

 

Shadis leans back and grins. “At ease. Go feed this poor girl.”

 

Levi all too quickly takes Historia to a booth in the corner. “I didn’t expect that,” he admits, glancing at her nervously as they sit.

 

“How do you know Shadis?” She asks, politely smiling as their server drops by and takes drink orders (tea for him, just water for her).

 

“He was my squad leader when I was in the military.” Levi doesn’t even look at the menu, already knowing his order.

 

Historia puts her menu down. “You were in the military?” It explains his exceptional physique.

 

“For ten years until I hurt my leg,” he explains, “and now I’m the CFO for Smith Executives.”

 

Historia’s head almost spins for a moment. “Oh,” is all she can say. Smith Executives was one of the most successful businesses to come out of the city of Trost, and she had no idea she slept with one of the executives. She wasn’t keen on the idea for the money side of it, but the business name was just something everyone knew in this city.

 

Levi clears his throat, uncomfortable with the drop in conversation. So naturally, he thinks it’s an appropriate time to bring up an even more uncomfortable topic: “So I would like to keep...whatever this is between us going.”

 

Their server picks a perfect time to return, and taking Levi’s order for double eggs over easy with toast and hash browns, and since Historia can’t think straight with the conversation, she simply says she’ll have the same without realizing what she’s ordering.

 

“I—I’m not looking for love,” she sputters out once the waitress leaves.

 

Levi nods, sipping on his hot tea. She notices he holds his cup oddly and she finds it endearing, but won’t acknowledge it right this moment. “I’m not either,” he begins, “but I won’t lie. I’m attracted to you and I want to have more of you.” _He’s honest_ , she notes. That’s more than what she can say about her feelings. “I meant it when I said I want to know you.”

 

Historia feels conflicted. Her guard is screaming that he’s lying, everyone lies, and they always will. Another part of her wants to kiss Levi and be held by him. Eventually she decides, “Okay.”

 

They don’t verbally acknowledge the sexual part of their relationship, but she already knows that she wants him again and he knows that he’s starting to fall for her.

 

The conversation becomes more light-hearted after they addressed their elephant in the bedroom, and their food arrives. She finds out he was in the marines, that he and his sister were raised by their uncle from a young age, and that he really enjoys newspaper comics. He manages to break down her walls a little and she admits that she was orphaned at the age of 11 and was put into the foster care system after that, and her foster parents made her an equestrian so she now loves horses.

 

“They were wonderful to me. They really changed my life,” Historia says fondly, her expression softening immensely as she speaks. “I miss riding, though. It’s such an expensive sport that I couldn’t keep up with it after I moved out.”

 

Levi looks thoughtful for a moment. “I may know someone who can make it happen,” he thinks aloud. Before she can protest such a kind act, he inflates this protest as the waitress tries to drop their check by and he immediately hands her cash.

 

“Levi!” Historia exclaims.

 

“Keith said to treat you like a queen, so I am,” he states factually. She isn’t sure how to argue with him, and he doesn’t let her as he stands. She chooses to rant in her head, not wanting to seem childish to Levi. When they pass Shadis again, Levi nods respectfully to him and Historia waves.

 

They walk back in a comfortable silence, allowing her to think over the course of the night.

 

Levi wants to get to know her more. Levi is attracted to her. Levi is a successful businessman and veteran who has kept his physical form. Levi makes her want to have sex all the time with him. Levi likes breakfast for dinner. Levi is respectful and considerate.

 

“Can I stay?” Historia asks quietly as they reach his building.

 

Levi looks surprised, but he takes a step close to her until he’s inches from her. “Only if you keep me warm,” he smiles as he kisses her.

 

* * *

 

Levi wakes up first this time.

 

He turns his head to his right, and the early morning sunlight is peeking through his curtains and falling on the sleeping blonde beside him. She is facing away from him, so he sees the length of her bare back, and he admires the curve of her figure.

 

 _She’s better than I deserve_ , he thinks.

 

Historia practically pounced on him again last night after they got back from the diner, but it was different. She was eager, but they went slow. It was almost like they were drawing out pleasuring each other to savor the feeling. He made sure he didn’t finish until she did. He fucked her slowly, and she writhed beneath him until she came.

 

Levi sighs and lets himself fall back asleep.

 

When he wakes up again, she’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little shorter than I thought I'd make this update, but more dialogue felt forced. Eren and the gang make an appearance next chapter!!


	3. need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Eren and Jean are silly, Historia makes a decision, and Mikasa is the friend we all need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there is a panic attack in this. it happens once Historia and Levi get back to Historia's place. there's nothing explicit or graphic, but it alludes to trauma.

Historia is in her classroom, getting her assignments for the kids today sorted out. She looks significantly more wholesome than she was two days ago when she saw Levi, dressed in jeans and a white blouse. She has about half an hour until her kids start arriving for the day when her phone goes off, signaling a new message has come in. Her stomach flips; when she disappeared again from Levi’s she didn’t expect him to call, and he hadn’t all weekend. She wondered if she ruined what could be a good thing.

 

When she picks up her phone, she feels butterflies flutter in her stomach.

 

_Eventually my feelings are going to get hurt if you keep disappearing on me. Can I interest you in getting dinner after work today? My sister wants me to be social today and seeing you sounds like a better idea._

 

She looks at her calendar and curses to herself.

 

_Normally yes, but I have a get together with friends today._

 

She feels that this sounds too much like blowing him off, so she quickly sends a follow up message.

 

_If it’s not too late when we’re done, I’m available for some after dinner plans._

 

His response is almost immediate, making her smile.

 

_I can’t wait._

 

* * *

 

After a long day of teaching little children the importance of not eating glue and other inedible items, Historia is actually excited to be with her friends at their usual spot in Rose Plaza, sitting outdoors at their favorite bar called The Garrison.

 

“You know what I like?” Eren asks, holding up an obnoxiously large piece of pizza.

 

“Dick?” Jean grins, earning himself a punch from Eren.

 

“That’s you, horse-face,” Eren retorts through a mouthful of pizza. “Cheese is what I like. Cheese is a gift from the divine.”

 

Historia meets Mikasa’s gaze and rolls her eyes. “Those are your boys,” she points out, earning a small smile from Mikasa. Even though Jean and Mikasa won’t admit it aloud, they are so obviously in love with each other—which came as a surprise because Historia would’ve put money on Mikasa falling for her best friend Eren, but apparently Jean is more charming.

 

Shocker.

 

“My brother is supposed to show up soon. He said he’s walking here now,” Mikasa tells Historia as Reiner bellows that he wants to arm wrestle, and Eren stupidly agrees despite Armin’s warnings. All of this makes Historia miss Ymir. She sighs, and Mikasa notices the distant look in Historia’s eyes. Ymir, as possessive as she was, would’ve wanted Historia to be happy now even without her there.

 

_Live for yourself_.

 

Historia blinks, willing her grief to be put side for now. “You know, you never talk about your brother. What’s he like?”

 

“He’s short.” Mikasa looks almost bored talking about him, but Historia knows better. “He’s kind of an ass. But I love him,” She shrugs. “He works for Smith Executives so now I don’t see him as much since he’s always doing business stuff.”

 

Historia raises her eyebrows, suddenly more interested. “I met someone recently who works there.”

 

Before Mikasa can ask, Eren chimes back into their conversation. “Mikasa, when is Levi showing up? I want to see him take on Reiner. He’s terrifying, I’m sure he can beat the him.”

 

Levi.

 

Her eyes widen as she starts to put two and two together, praying it’s purely coincidence.

 

“I can beat who?”

 

Historia’s whole body tenses as she hears that familiar voice that normally reaches into her core in the best way.

 

She looks up and Levi is standing at the end of their table, in his normal dress attire as if he got off of work. His expression is as bored as Mikasa’s, who introduces him. “Friends, this is my brother Levi. Levi, friends.”

 

His eyes meet Historia’s, and he doesn’t give anything away as if he’s waiting on her. She turns back to Mikasa, trying to recover from her shock. “Uh, I actually met Levi last week. I had no idea you were related,” she explains, trying to be nonchalant about it. Levi’s shoulders relax and he sits beside Historia, seeming as casual as ever. Internally she’s screaming. Mikasa notices that he sits beside her, and she stares at her brother. He blankly stares back.

 

When in the same room, these siblings are indeed terrifying, Historia deems.

 

“Levi!” Reiner exclaims, worming in between Jean and Mikasa to place his arm on the table. “Arm wrestle, now. I’ve beaten every man at this table.”

 

Levi cocks an eyebrow. “Why would I bother?”

 

“Scared?” Reiner asks with an arrogant grin.

 

This seems to spur on Levi, who rolls up the sleeves of his shirt past his elbows. Historia isn’t sure what to make of this, but when he glances at her before clasping his hand against Reiner’s, her cheeks become dusted with pink.

 

_This is a dick measuring contest_ , she concludes.

 

A lot of noise from the boys and a few moments later, Levi manages to slam down Reiner’s knuckles against the table with a shout. Reiner looks like a mix of annoyed and energized, fueled by something Historia doesn’t understand. Levi leans back, placing his arm on the back of Historia’s chair as he relaxes.

 

Mikasa moves her stare to Historia, who squirms under her piercing gaze. “I’m going to get another drink,” she announces, awkwardly standing and walking away. Mikasa silently follows, Levi’s eyes watching the two girls head to the bar.

 

Once Historia and Mikasa order new drinks, Mikasa turns to face the blonde fully. “Are you dating my brother?”

 

“N-no,” Historia stutters. When Mikasa continues staring, she gives a defeated sigh. “We’re not dating. But I’ve been, ah, seeing him a few times,” she admits, and Mikasa clearly gets the picture. “I think he wants to date. Or at least, maybe get to know me and then date? He seems like he wants more. I think I do too, but I just don’t want to get hurt.”

 

Mikasa nods, her expression finally softening as she understands. “He won’t hurt you. He seems like he doesn’t care but he will, and fast. So if anything you’ll hurt him first.” Historia’s eyes widen at this, guilt hitting her chest. “I think, as weird as it may be, it’ll be good for you. _He_ would be good for you. Ymir is gone, Historia. I get that it’s hard to move on, but you can’t stay with a ghost that’s not here. She would be pissed if she knew you weren’t letting yourself be happy. Whether it’s Levi, or someone else, or no one at all, be with who makes you happy.” Mikasa pulls her in for a rare hug before walking away with her drink, leaving Historia standing at the bar with wide, teary eyes. She blinks away her tears and rubs her cheeks before taking her drink and returning to the table.

 

Levi’s preciously bored look sharpens as he sees Historia return with her cheeks red and eyes glistening, concern flashing in his gaze. She doesn’t look at him in the eyes as she sits back beside him and tries to pay attention to the conversation, which has returned to cheese.

 

Levi is hesitant, but he places his hand on Historia’s thigh under the table so the others won’t see. It’s not sexual, but comforting. His gaze isn’t on her, instead on Eren ranting about how Jean being lactose intolerant is a sign of weakness. Historia looks down at his hand; his fingers are warm and gentle. She places her hand over his, her heart aching.

 

* * *

 

It’s around 9 o’clock when they call it quits because it’s a work night, and Historia is secretly thankful.

 

As they all say their goodbyes, Levi and Mikasa linger. Mikasa is talking quietly to Levi, and Historia thinks it’s odd that she never realized they were related. They’re so similar it’s quite scary. Levi turns his attention to Historia, and his voice is soft as he approaches her. “Can I walk you home?”

 

She nods silently, a knot in her stomach tightening from her conversation earlier with Mikasa.

 

Mikasa gives Levi a stern look. “Be good.” With that she collects Eren, who is laughing at something on his phone with Jean, and drags the two away to leave Historia and Levi alone.

 

“Ready?” Levi asks. Historia nods and she grabs his hand, leading him west from their location. He is surprised by her initiating the contact, but he doesn’t complain as he falls in step with her.

 

The feeling in Historia’s chest feels too familiar and it almost hurts. Her heart feels fluttery when she holds his hand, she feels like she can smile around him, when he held her Friday night after they had sex she felt like she was home. She spends most of the walk back to her small apartment looking anywhere but him. His fingers are laced between hers and his calloused palms feel perfect against her soft skin.

 

They get to her doorstep and she leads him inside wordlessly, and he follows. Once over her threshold she kisses him sweetly, craning her neck to meet his lips.

 

_Live for yourself_.

 

Historia’s energy shifts and suddenly her actions are more fervent and needing. She pushes him against the wall and she takes charge, leading them through their movements. Levi is unsure of her mood and where this should go, but he trusts her to guide him to what she wants. She slides off her jeans, working on undoing his pants, making quick work of them. “Kiss me everywhere,” she tells him, and he obliges with a gentler approach. He flips them around, working his way from his lips down her torso, discarding her blouse in the process. She sighs despite her racing heart.

 

He sinks to his knees as he kisses her abdomen and pauses at her underwear, glancing up at her. She nods, working her fingers through his hair. He kisses her hips, gripping them lightly, and moves to her thighs. He eases her knee over his shoulder and trails along the inside of her thigh, making his way toward her center. Glancing up again, she guides him toward her and he mouths at her through her underwear.

 

Historia’s head spins, and she makes a noise that isn’t one of pleasure, making Levi stop and he looks up at her fully. He says something but she doesn’t hear what, instead hearing voices of people she hasn’t seen in years and their taunting voices. She feels hands on her that used to burn, bruise, hurt her. She moves to shut her legs and bring her knees together sharply, but since she’s partially balanced on Levi she instead falls to the floor.

 

She’s crying. She hears the vile voices from her mother’s visitors in her ears and her vision is blurred by tears.

 

“ _Historia_.”

 

Someone is holding her. Rough hands cradle her head, and she sees dark eyes over her.

 

“It’s me. It’s Levi.”

 

Her eyesight focuses. Levi is talking.

 

“You’re safe, I’ve got you.” He says tenderly, his thumb rubbing her cheek as he holds her head. She blinks away tears and he wipes them away with his hand. “You’re safe.”

 

Historia breaks into sobs as she realized what happened, and she sits up and throws her arms around his shoulders. Surprised, he holds her in his lap. “I’m so sorry,” she cries. “I thought I could, I’m sorry—“

 

“Hush,” Levi shushes her, “You have nothing to apologize for.” He holds her close as she cries into his shoulder.

 

She cries of Ymir. She cries for her and her death. She cries for herself as a little girl who was dealt a shitty start in life. She cries for the part of her that won’t let herself heal after all these years.

 

Levi pulls her in tighter as she whimpers through her sobs.

 

Some time goes by. Historia’s sobs eased into quiet tears, and she’s exhausted in his arms. When Levi sees the clock, he wonders what time she needs to be awake in the morning, and he manages to get to his feet and he carries her half-awake in his arms like a bride to her room, which he finds with ease. He sets her on the bed gently, carefully removing her bra so that she isn’t uncomfortable when she sleeps. He pulls the sheets over her and turns to leave until he hears her small voice in the darkness.

 

“Please stay, Levi.”

 

He hesitates.

 

“Please.”

 

He strips his clothes except his boxers, and he crawls into her bed and lays beside her.

 

“Will you hold me?”

 

Levi silently answers as he scoots close to her, pressing his chest again her back and reaching his arm around her front, holding her against him. He feels protective of her and possessive, but not in a negative way—more like I will keep you safe, let me be yours.

 

He stirs out of his silent enjoyment of being near Historia at hearing her tired voice again. “Thank you.”

 

He kisses the naps of her neck and lets himself drift to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Levi wakes up the next morning to a blaring alarm from his phone.

 

He manages to find it on the floor beside the bed—not his bed—and silences it. As he becomes less groggy, he realizes he’s in Historia’s bed. When he turns his head, he doesn’t see her in bed beside him.

 

Levi sighs, wondering how many times she’ll disappear before he concedes that he’s not wanted.

 

“Oh, you’re up! I figured you had to work but I didn’t know when.” Historia pops in the room and Levi is slightly confused. She’s already dressed and her eyes are bright. “I’m about to make eggs and toast. I managed to find a spare toothbrush, it’s in the bathroom still in the packaging.” Just as quickly as she came, she disappeared, and there’s sounds coming from the kitchen.

 

This has to be a dream, surely.

 

Levi brushes his teeth and dresses in his clothes from the previous night, quietly making his way to her kitchen. There’s a small table for two against the wall and he sits, watching her cook in her home. It’s odd, seeing her so in her element, but it fits. It makes his skin tingle pleasantly.

 

She soon sets a plate in front of him with eggs over easy and toast.

 

“Not bad,” he says as he cuts into his eggs.

 

Historia reveals a small, proud smile. “I never had over easy eggs before we went to the diner. I always felt like it was such an old person thing, but now my life has changed.” Levi outright laughs and Historia is taken aback, but she takes in the sight of Levi full on laughing.

 

_He’s so handsome_.

 

“You’re lovely yourself,” Levi says smoothly, coming down from his bout of laughter. Historia blushes profusely when she realizes she said that out loud.

 

Glancing at the clock on the stove, she gathers her plate, quickly finishing what’s left. “I need to leave for work.”

 

Levi nods and helps gather his own dish, also scarfing down the remainder of his food.

 

They find themselves within a few minutes outside her apartment building, about to leave in different directions. They stand somewhat awkwardly in silence.

 

“I want to see you again soon,” Historia finally says. “I—I tend to run from things that are good, so please chase me if I start pulling away.”

 

Levi processes this and nods, allowing himself to start to smile. “Noted.” He takes a step closer to her, holding her chin gently as he leans down, placing his lips against hers tenderly.

 

This kiss is different. It’s meaningful, caring, and they both feel warmth across their whole body.

 

He moves his hands through her hair, deepening their kiss, not caring if anyone sees. She leans against him. She would miss work gladly if it meant she could stay and kiss him all day.

 

Unfortunately, he pulls away, face flushed, but a smile starts to show. She can’t even try to hide her grin as her face is definitely redder than his.

 

“I’ll see you, Levi.” Historia leans up and pecks him quickly before heading on her way, walking to her school. Levi turns and watches her leave, noticing her steps have more pep than they have the last few times they’ve seen each other.

 

Levi shakes his head as he starts on his walk home. He’s going to be late to work today, but he will gladly walk in late if it means that he got to have this morning with Historia.

 

“I’m definitely screwed,” he chuckles to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so when Eren says "You know what I like?" and Jean replies with "Dick?" this is alluding to shulkie's fic Caddy Shack, which is hilarious and golden and perfect, and you should read it if you like Eren/Jean/Levi
> 
> this week is busy with exams and my husband and I are going out of town a night for a concert and disney explorations, so I may not update until near the end of the week this time. but I'll try to make it happen!


	4. fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which it's halloween and Levi is a shy lovestruck loser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i _know_ i'm very overdue for this update and i apologize. i couldn't decide what i wanted to do with these nerds, but with halloween around the corner i had this cute idea. so while this update may be a wee bit shorter than the others, our two favorites make progress in their relationship.
> 
> also, it follows levi's pov a little more!
> 
> enjoy!

Levi stares at his phone with a scowl that could frighten off anyone in his office.

 

“Just text her already, you sap.”

 

Erwin, however, sees it as a challenge to break the man.

 

“Fuck off,” is all Levi offers as a response at the giant dressed as a wizard in the doorway to his office. He sets his phone down, uncertainty ruining his resolve to reach out to Historia. It’s Halloween and he wants to see her, but he makes no move because he’s a coward.

 

“Well, her class is here to trick-or-treat, so you should at least talk to her when she comes in. Hopefully she likes Legend of Zelda,” Erwin says with a wink, and Levi’s scowl disappears as he stares at Erwin with wide eyes.

 

“You’re fucking with me.” Levi is suddenly unsure of his office Halloween costume choice as Link. Almost as if on cue there’s a chorus of “ _trick-or-treat!_ ” from what’s obviously a collection of small children outside Levi’s office. Erwin looks back and his smile widens manically as he turns back to Levi.

 

“I already know who she is, and all I can say is _damn_ , Levi. You found yourself a queen.” Levi throws a pen at Erwin, who smoothly ducks. “Come out here while candy gets passed out to our trick-or-treaters, Hero of Hyrule.”

 

Levi grumbles as he gets up, his heart pounding against his chest as he steps out from his office, greeted with the sight of almost two dozen little kids dressed up, going from desk to desk with little bags for candy. He immediately recognizes one little Optimus Prime immediately and is suddenly aware of who exactly orchestrated this whole event, sending a glare Petra’s way. She glances at Levi and shrugs, a knowing grin on her face.

 

“Ryo, be sure to not eat too much candy! You gotta save some for tonight!” She tells her child as he passes her desk, strawberry blonde hair sticking out from behind his mask. He nods enthusiastically, before turning to his blonde witch teacher.

 

“Miss Reiss, this is my mama!” He tells her, gently pulling at her purple dress near her ankles.

 

Historia smiles brightly at him, a giggle falling from her tongue. “I know, Ryo, she helped put this together for us,” she tells him kindly. She raises her gaze and meets Levi’s, her smile unfaltering as her cheeks flush a lovely shade of pink. Levi’s stomach flips at the sight.

 

Erwin misses none of this, and as Historia walks up to them he stretches out a hand that she shakes. “I’m Erwin Smith. You must be the wonderful Historia I’ve heard about,” he introduces himself with a warm tone to his voice.

 

At his words Historia’s flush deepens and her smile wavers nervously. “E-Erwin Smith?”

 

“The one and only.”

 

She glances at Levi, who looks promptly at his brown boots instead of her gaze.

 

Erwin doesn’t miss a beat. “Levi speaks very highly of you. We’re very happy to be able to give the kids a Halloween treat today.” Levi wants to glare at Erwin but chooses to look at Historia with what he hopes is a neutral look.

 

Apparently it’s not neutral since she smiles wider at him, fondness softening her eyes. “Levi’s too sweet,” she looks back to Erwin, “and the kids are super excited to be here. When Petra offered to help put together this little field trip for the kids, we were all about it.”

 

“There’s treats and juice in our break room down the hall. Petra and Hanji decorated and went all out,” Erwin informs her before promptly switching topics. “Are you Sarah Sanderson?”

 

Historia brightens and she twirls her dress around in a manner much like Sarah Sanderson. “I am! I like your costumes—very nerdy.” Her eyes twinkle when she talks as she looks at Levi and his knees go weak. He’s such a coward and he can’t even find his voice to tell her that she looks adorable.

 

The other teacher—whom Levi didn’t know was there until just now—speaks up as the kid finished making their rounds through the office. “Alright everyone, lets file into another room where there’s goodies and juice for you all!” The kids all liven up impossibly more as they follow, and Historia turns to the two men.

 

“That’s my cue. Gotta keep the kiddos together,” she says, her gaze lingering on Levi. Erwin doesn’t need a hint to take his leave.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Historia. Hopefully I’ll see you around soon,” Erwin says knowingly, glancing at Levi before he heads off.

 

Levi hasn’t said a word to her yet and he feels like an ass, but he’s scared he’ll profess to her that he’s falling head over heels for this girl.

 

“I’ll hear from you soon?” She asks hopefully, and Levi nods.

 

“Do you want to go out tonight?” he pathetically blurts out. Historia smiles again when she nods and it’s worth him feeling like an idiot. When she leans in close to chastely kiss him on the cheek, he realizes he’d embarrass himself to make her smile any day.

 

* * *

 

When the kids leave, Erwin finds Levi immediately.

 

"Levi. You've got it _bad_."

 

"Shut up," Levi retorts, burying his head in his paperwork. Erwin puts his hands on the desk over Levi's work, making him look up at Erwin with a glare. "Did I stutter?"

 

Erwin sighs. "You haven't told her how you feel." It's not a question and Levi hates how perceptive his best friend is. The way Levi's shoulders sag in defeat is enough of an answer for Erwin, who sits at one of the two chairs facing Levi's desk. "You should say something, before she gets tired of it or someone else swoops in."

 

The thought of someone else coming onto Historia is enough to make Levi clench his knuckles, despite how he doesn't have any right to any jealously, at _all_. "I don't know how," he admits, avoiding Erwin's gaze. He worries that just by looking at him in the eyes, Erwin will find out the depth of his feelings for Historia.

 

Apparently Erwin doesn't need to do that to know, though. "You're serious about these feelings, aren't you?"

 

The real question isn't asked. _You're falling in love with her, aren't you, you raging nerd?_

 

Levi nods, rubbing his hands over his face as he lets out an exasperated breath. "What do I do?"

 

"Tell her." Erwin shrugs as Levi looks at him with shock. "It doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or the day after. But if you never say anything then she'll never know."

 

"How do I do it?"

 

"Just do what feels natural," Erwin quickly adds to this as Levi looks like he may punch him, "which may be hard, but just do it when you feel it's right. If it's not genuine then she'll know. She seems too sharp for any bullshit."

 

Levi scoffs. "I don't know what she's doing with me, then."

 

Erwin grins as he sees some of Levi's humor return to him. "I don't know either, but don't let her see you're only full of shit jokes and a bad temper." Levi throws his stapler at Erwin, who just laughs as he ducks and retreats from Levi's office. Levi runs a hand through his hair as he sighs, wondering how the fuck he'll ever take Erwin's advice.

 

"Fucking eyebrows," he growls, knowing that ultimately, Erwin's right. "Fuck."

 

* * *

 

 

They go out to a Halloween themed event at the same bar they met at.

 

The drinks are colored green and purple and it’s so cheesy it would make Levi cringe if he came by himself. What’s different is that he’s not here alone, and he loves how Historia is smiling across the table from him outside—at the same table, too—and how warm his chest feels when she looks at him like he’s special.

 

This girl is so special, and he wants to keep her all to himself.

 

He’s just afraid to scare her away, despite her having said to chase her if she pulls away.

 

Her eyes are as sharp as they are lovely and they haven’t missed how his mind has seemed to wander. “Penny for your thoughts, Levi?” Historia asks, trying to bring him back to her. He remembers her talking about why the kids came to the office, and apparently when Petra found out that Historia knew Levi when they ran into each other at the grocery store, she instantly offered to orchestrate this whole event as the PTA president and definitely _not_ as a matchmaker, and he doesn't recall what Historia said after that and now he's caught. Levi holds her gaze for a moment, trying to keep his expression neutral but failing. He fails at keeping up his hard exterior with her and has from the beginning.

 

“I—“ he stops himself, exhaling with purpose. He wants to keep her so he needs to speak, not withhold his thoughts. “I want to make you mine,” he finally answers with a shaky voice and _fuck_ , why can’t he keep his cool?

 

Her fingers tighten around her glass that holds some fruity drink that’s neon green and her face hardens for a moment, making Levi’s heart slam against his chest because he fucked up. She reaches across the table with her other hand and takes his free hand in hers, and he anxiously rubs his thumb along her knuckles. “I’m not easy to have.” Her expression is brave but her eyes reveal a fear that Levi is sure is present in his own. “I panic. I run from good things. My—my best friend I was in love with died in an accident and I still get fucked up over it. I came from a very broken and abusive home before my foster family and I struggle with that regularly.” Levi didn’t realize that she was squeezing his hand until she loosens her grip on him. “We spend time together but you don’t really know me that well. I don’t want you to think you’re going to be happy when I won’t bring you that.”

 

The whole world seems to stop around them, and Levi can’t believe the words coming from her mouth. She’s telling him every reason to not be with her but he only wants her more and he wishes he didn’t start this conversation in the middle of a trashy bar and _wow_ he’s an idiot. “I was raised by my uncle who was the scourge of the crime world in Sina,” he begins to share as much of him as she’s shared, rambling on as he doesn’t let her hand go. He turns his hand over, running a finger along her palm. “My mom died with me in the room. She was a prostitute but did everything for Mikasa and I. We were shipped off to Kenny when she passed. We did anything we could to survive and not be in the house until we met the Jaeger family, who took in Mikasa since she was young. I went off in the military to be able to provide for Mikasa financially while the Jaegers gave her a roof—but they were so good to her and I never could give her that at that age.” He gets quiet and takes a deep breath before continuing. “I saw a lot of horrible things and I saw a lot of friends die. I get night terrors and some nights I can’t sleep at all or I wake up seeing things.” He lets go of his drink and gently takes her other hand, making sure to hold her gaze as he tells her, “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I think you deserve the sun and moon and I probably can never give that to you, but I want to keep you safe and call you my girl and all of that stupid, cheesy, sickening shit that couples do.”

 

_I’m falling for you and you already hold my heart in your hands so let me please love yours, too._

 

Her eyes are wide and teary and neither of them say anything for a few minutes while the rest of the bar parties on, horrible Halloween music playing, and terrible drinks being poured.

 

She finally, _finally_ says something to him and her voice quivers but it’s the sweetest sound even if she’s as nervous as he is. “Alright.”

 

Levi can’t hide his smile and he wants to kiss her, but doesn’t.

 

Historia returns his smile shyly, and they both don’t really know what to say. She glances at her drink and then back up at him. “Want to get out of here?”

 

They quickly finish their drinks before going back to his place.

 

* * *

 

They’re hardly through the doorway when he has her against the door, hands on her hips and lips on hers. Her hands are in his hair, having tossed aside his green Link cap.

 

This all feels like they just met again but it’s not lust-filled the way it was the first time, filled with desperation and a burning desire to sate their loneliness for a brief moment. This makes her abdomen burn with want, warmth blooming in her chest, and his skin tingles where she touches him and his mind is buzzing with nothing but her. She needs him rather than wanting him, and he wants to keep her in his arms safe away from the world. He lifts her as he carries her to his bedroom with ease, and she relishes the feel of being in his strong embrace. This is _intimate_ , and they find home within each other when they kiss each other so tenderly.

 

Levi kisses Historia slowly, his hands reaching around to run up her back as she’s pressed against his chest.

 

He blindly feels around for a moment before pulling away, looking at her with frustration. “How the fuck does this come off?”

 

Historia outright laughs at his bafflement, and he can’t help but smile against her lips as she kisses him through her laughter.

 

 _Nothing is more perfect than her_ , Levi thinks as she laughs so freely. She wiggles herself out of her costume—there’s layers, what the fuck?—and he decides to strip himself of his Link costume as her witch dress is discarded on the floor. She sits back on the bed, nude, and he stares for a moment as he takes off his boxer briefs. His prior thought returns to the forefront of his mind as he takes in the sight of her. Historia shifts under his attention and he kisses her, gently laying her back as he crawls above her.

 

Her legs wrap around his waist and he slips his arms under her back, savoring the feel of her skin against his as he lowers himself to press on her, and his cock is against her center but not aligned up to her. He moves his hips a little, rubbing himself against her and she’s already so wet, and she makes a small sound that makes him want to just slide in right there.

 

“Levi,” Historia murmurs breathily, and he kisses her again and again, rubbing against her slowly. He wants her so badly but he is enjoying this slow, leisurely pace.

 

“You’re perfect,” Levi tells her as he kisses her jaw, down her neck, and then her shoulder. There’s freckles littered across her shoulders and they match the ones that are dusted across her cheeks. “So fucking perfect, and mine,” he gently bites her shoulder, and her nails dig into his shoulder in response.

 

He moves his hips back enough so that when he pushes back, he begins to slide into her. She gasps and raises her hips to meet him, eager to have him. He tightens his hold on her and uses all of his self-control not to fuck her senseless as she quietly moans as he fills her. He stills himself and time seems to stop as he just breathes.

 

“Levi.”

 

Historia scratches down his back and he _finally_ moves even though his pace is slow. She still moans, making little sounds that spur him on, gradually moving quicker without realizing it. He raises his head to kiss her as he fucks her. When he starts moving even faster, his eyes are half-open to watch her as her wonderful sounds leave her lips. She opens her eyes and meets his gaze, and he wonders what he could have ever done to deserve this beautiful goddess underneath him.

 

Levi kisses her again, and he kisses her as he comes, still moving just enough as she touches herself to climax after him.

 

They lay there in their post-orgasm daze, and he pulls out as he lays down beside her. She looks at him differently and he wants to fly.

 

“Shower?” Levi asks, and Historia nods with a small smile. She places her hand on his cheek as she leans in, kissing him in a way that makes his heart flutter.

 

She kisses him, and Levi realizes that he’s fallen in love with Historia. It happened so fast and he’s fallen so hard, and he resolves to never stop chasing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry again i took forever for this update. i promise to try and be better after this.
> 
> also, if you have ideas or want these kiddos to do something specific next, let me know and maybe i'll make it happen!
> 
> much love!


	5. fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historia meets the family, and then some!

It’s been a couple of weeks since Levi and Historia agreed to be an official item—about three, and its the last day of school before the Thanksgiving break and Historia cannot wait for this break. She loves her kids, she truly does, but damn does she need some kind of break.

 

When she gets to her classroom, there’s a vase of flowers sitting on her desk and she stops short with shock. There’s a knock behind her which makes her jump, and she whirls around to see none other than Keith Shadis staring in her room. “What did that boy do?”

 

Historia looks at the bouquet and notices a note tucked between two flowers. She sets her bags on her desk beside the vase and she plucks the note out, reading it aloud. “Historia, while these flowers don’t compare to your beauty, I hope that you like them. I’m going out of town for Thanksgiving with Mikasa to the Jaeger’s house in the country and I would be honored if you joined me.” She rolled her eyes and put her free hand on her cheek to hide her blush that Shadis saw anyway.

 

“Stuck in the middle of nowhere with Levi and family? Sounds like a nice time,” Shadis comments with a straight face. Historia cocks an eyebrow at him, waving her hand in his direction.

 

“Off you go. I have students to prepare for, in case you forgot,” she says dismissively, but her tone is light and playful. Shadis gives her a knowing look before leaving her in her classroom with her thoughts and her flowers.

 

* * *

 

When the last of her students are gone and she’s finished with the last of the daily tasks, she calls Levi and holds her phone in one hand, gathering her things to take home in the other.

 

It’s two rings until he picks up.

 

“ _Levi_ _speaking_.”

 

“So this morning I found a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a note asking me to prom,” she says in a teasing voice. Levi lets out a low chuckle that makes her heart race.

 

“ _Do_ _you_ _have_ _an_ _answer_ _for_ _your_ _secret_ _admirer_?”

 

“I do. I’ll go as long as I don’t have to drive us.”

 

“ _Deal_.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, they’re in Levi’s truck and on the road to Shigansina, which is a small town further north and Historia is mainly startled that Levi owns a truck more than anything else. She packed enough for the week, which is apparently how long they’ll likely be there, and the drive up is easy and surprisingly pretty once they’re out of the city. Levi’s left hand is on the wheel, his right on her thigh, and she feels a lovely warmth spread through her chest at the sight of him so relaxed as he drives, humming along to The Beach Boys on the radio.

 

When they reach Shigansina, the reality of just how small a town it was hit her—they drove through the town entirely and are on a road to a large patch of land with horses visible in the distance, a house visible in the even further.

 

“That’s it,” Levi points with one hand as he turns into a long dirt road, dust flying in the air. As they draw near Historia spots multiple familiar cars, and she takes in the sight of the house: large, built in brick, and two stories. She imagines it’ll be a tight fit with how many cars are outside, but she smiles nonetheless.

 

The front door opens and out comes a middle aged woman with long brown hair and a kind face who Historia thinks must be Eren’s mother. Levi is already out and opening Historia’s door before she realizes it, and the woman comes up to wrap Levi up in a motherly hug.

 

“Oh, Levi, it’s so good to see you sweetie.” When the woman finally lets him go, she cups his face endearingly and looks over him as he replies.

 

“Thank you for having us, Carla.” Levi turns and gestures to Historia, a full smile on his face. “Historia, this is Carla, Eren’s mom. Carla, this is Historia—my girlfriend.” He glances at her as he says this, almost as if he’s unsure of himself despite them officially being an item for a short while now.

 

Carla lights up at the word ‘girlfriend,’ however, and she’s immediately over Historia. “Oh my word, honey you’re so beautiful! I can’t believe—“ she stops herself and takes a breath, laughing at herself. “I’m sorry, I’m just excited. Levi has never brought anyone home before and I’m getting ahead of myself.” Historia glances at Levi, who’s face is incredibly red at this point as he takes their bags out of the truck bed and walks past them into the house.

 

“It’s perfectly okay,” Historia assures Carla, who just smiles wider.

 

“Well then let me show you around while he’s getting your things inside.”

 

The house has some familiar faces—Eren and Mikasa are already there and excited to see Historia, as well as Jean, Connie, and Sasha. Carla’s welcoming warmth feels very genuine to Historia and it makes her feel a tinge of sadness because she has longed for this feeling of family for a long time. Carla ends the tour of the house in the kitchen where they found Eren’s father making tea with Levi, both of whom look up when they hear Carla telling Historia a story of when Levi first came home after joining the army. “Oh, Grisha, come meet Historia,” Carla ushers Historia forward toward the tall man, whose face is kind behind his circular glasses.

 

“I’m Grisha, Eren and Zeke’s father,” he introduces himself warmly. Historia tilts her head in confusion.

 

“Zeke?”

 

Levi interrupts quietly from behind his mug, “We don’t talk about him.”

 

“Oh, hush,” Carla swipes at him without any real malice. “Zeke is Eren’s older brother. You’ll probably meet him when he comes in tonight.” Levi rolls his eyes, only to be smacked lightly on the arm again by Carla.

 

“It’s great to finally meet you, Historia,” Grisha nods at her, gently taking Carla’s hand. “Come on, Carla. Let’s leave them to settle in, yeah?” He pulls Carla away, who smiles kindly at Historia, leaving her alone with Levi in the kitchen.

 

“They’re lovely,” Historia comments, earning a chuckle from Levi, who reaches out with his free hand and pulls her against his chest.

 

“They are, I suppose,” Levi agrees. “We’ll have a fire tonight. It’ll get everyone together.”

 

* * *

 

Once evening fell, everyone gathered out back of the house around the fire pit, trying to stoke a fire to life. Jean and Connie are trying to burn the small bit of wood in the pit, but the small pieces burn weakly. Sasha sighs obnoxiously, exclaiming, “Some fire!” Levi stepped toward the pile of uncut firewood a few yards away, shrugging off his jacket as rolls up his sleeves, looking like a modern lumberjack in his flannel and worn jeans as he grabs the axe nearby and cuts the wood into quarters. He catches Historia looking and he winks at her. Historia’s stomach flipped and her core burned with want at the sight.

 

When the fire finally got going, Levi took his seat between Historia and Mikasa. His arm went around Historia’s waist, pulling her close to his side so she was up against him. The gesture made her heart race and he squeezed her waist as he winked at her before looking up at an approaching Eren.

 

“I come bearing whiskey!” He bellowed, holding up a bottle and a stack of solo cups. He poured out a cup for each person before sitting on Historia’s other side. Levi took a sip and scrunched up his nose.

 

“This is sad. Whiskey is not the same out of plastic,” Levi states, and Mikasa nods in agreement as she sips her drink. Levi removes his arm from her waist to pull out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lights one up.

 

Mikasa glares at him. “Smoking kills.”

 

Levi looks at her blankly, exhaling his smoke toward the fire. “So does drinking,” he replies as he glances at her cup. She hardens her glare before she relents, asking him about work.

 

Historia swirls her whiskey in her cup, looking idly at the fire when Eren interrupts her thoughts. “Hey,” he begins, and he’s looking at her with warm eyes, “how’re you doing? With everything?”

 

She’s surprised, but she relaxes as she mulls over his question. She sips her whiskey before answering, “I’m okay. It’s getting easier. Mikasa talked me into learning to let go—and Levi helps in a lot of ways.” She smiles as she glances fondly at him, and he raises an eyebrow as he takes a drag of his cigarette.

 

“Hm?” Levi hums.

 

“Just talking about you,” Historia replies smoothly, “saying you smell.”

 

“Like fuck I do,” he huffs, tossing his cigarette butt into the fire. “Well. Anytime but tonight.”

 

Historia turns back to Eren, her smile growing as Levi takes her hand in his, his thumb running over her knuckles. Eren doesn’t miss the small gesture as she talks in a low voice. “I miss her of course, but I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time. I don’t want to mess this up.”

 

Eren just smiles at her, and he nods, understanding. Levi puts his arm back around her waist and pulls her against him; he smells like cigarettes and fire. She looks at him and his eyes reflect the fire, dark yet glittering in the low light. He kisses her forehead and butterflies explode in her stomach.

 

“Look at the new happy couple!” A tall blonde with a scruffy beard and glasses to match Grisha’s interrupts from across the fire, holding up his arms to gesture at them, his cup spilling over with the movement. His light eyes are focused on Historia as he speaks, and she meets his gaze with her own, furrowing her brow. “I’m Zeke, the beloved Jaeger son and crowned jewel of the family,” he jests.

 

“Historia, this is the reject brother that doesn’t see us other than holidays,” Levi tells Historia as if he’s reporting the weather.

 

“That’s rich, coming from military man over here. You would be gone for months or even years at a time, buddy,” Zeke retorts sharply.

 

Mikasa chimes in defensively, “At least he was doing something with himself.”

 

Zeke throws up a hand as if in surrender. “Someone has to take care of the farm while everyone else decided to fuck off with themselves.” He drinks from his cup obnoxiously. Historia feels tense as she’s caught amidst the family fire.

 

“Come on, Zeke. Calm the fuck down,” Eren interjects, kicking at Zeke’s feet with his own. “You’re killing the mood.”

 

Zeke shrugs, huffing loudly as he pushes his shoulders back, avoiding Levi’s gaze. “Anyway, it’s so lovely that Levi finally brought home a lady friend. Hopefully you don’t get run off or stolen away,” he remarks, taking a large swig of his drink.

 

“I dare you to try, Jaeger.” Levi speaks in a low voice as he tightens his grip on her waist, and she puts a hand on his leg in response.

 

She gives Zeke a sweet smile with fiery eyes. “I’m not planning on running anywhere, Zeke.”

 

He holds her gaze steadily, a grin behind his cup. Levi’s fade is stony and unwelcoming. Historia feels uncomfortable being caught in the middle and she leans forward to focus on the fire instead of the men staring each other down, setting her feet up on the concrete barrier, warming her feet. Levi gets close to her, his nose in her hair and his mouth near her ear. “I’m sorry about him,” he whispers, and she turns her head toward him slightly in response. “We can sneak off in a little bit, if you want to.” Historia’s breath hitches and she nods slightly. She spares a glance to Zeke who meets her gaze for a moment before turning to Connie, interjecting in the conversation about hunting that’s started up.

 

They mingle around the fire for a while longer as they finish the whiskey that Eren refills in their solo cups—much to their disappointment. (“It’s not that I don’t appreciate good whiskey, but good whiskey out of solo cups is just _wrong_.”) Mikasa has gone inside with Eren, leaving Zeke around the fire with Connie, Sasha, and Jean, and Levi wordlessly gets up and Historia follows him as they make their way to the front of the house to the truck. It purrs to life as Levi starts it and when they pull around the house and drive deeper into the property, Historia looks around to see just to see darkness in the fields around them.

 

“Just how much land is here?” She asks, breaking the silence.

 

Levi looks thoughtful for a moment before answering, “I think they’re down to 30-40 acres. There’s a handful of extended relatives who have their own houses and own parts of the land, but Eren’s parents have the bulk of it. There’s horses that they breed and sell that live in the fields between houses. Carla used to train them, but that fell to the kids as she’s gotten older. Zeke mostly tends to them, but Mikasa and I come out when we can to help.” Historia raises her eyebrows, not expecting to get such an explanation, but it makes sense once she thinks through everything.

 

“Oh,” is all she can offer as a reply. Levi brings the truck to a stop and turns off the engine, hopping out of his side and Historia follows. He helps Historia into the bed of the truck, and he climbs up once she’s in. They sit against the rear window and Levi puts his arm around her shoulders, stealing a gentle kiss from her. She smiles against his lips, and when she pulls away she looks at him, enjoying the proximity and newfound silence after a day of being surrounded by people.

 

“This is one of my favorite spots. I usually ride out here whenever I need to think, and get away from all the noise,” Levi tells her, turning to look up at the night sky. With how far in the country they are there’s not much light pollution and the stars blanket the sky in a way Historia has never seen before.

 

“It’s beautiful.” She can’t think of any other words to do this justice, so she settles for beautiful.

 

“Yeah,” Levi agrees. He turns to look at her, and she does the same to him. There’s a moment of silent tension, with the only sound of the breeze cutting through them, causing Historia to shake from the chill. Levi pulls her closer, his lips about to touch hers until she speaks.

 

“Care to warm me up?” Historia whispers, giving Levi a shiver of his own. He responds by taking hold of her face with cold hands, making her gasp and squeal into the kiss. He’s spurred on by the noise, moving his hands down to her waist, pulling her into his lap. She accommodates the movement, settling herself on him, slipping her own hands underneath his flannel shirt, startling him in turn when her fingers run over his abdomen.

 

“Fuck, you’re cold,” Levi grunts, eliciting a laugh from Historia.

 

“Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” She retorts.

 

Levi undoes the buttons on her blouse, his mouth moving down her neck to her chest, his tongue hot against her skin in the cold air. One hand is on her back, holding her close as the other moves aside her bra while he leaves little marks on her breasts. Historia stifles the noises of pleasure coming from her, so accustomed to being around people all day. Levi’s free hand rubs through her hair, pulling her face to his as he kisses her eagerly, his tongue sliding past her lips against hers. “You can be as loud as you want out here, princess,” he tells her in a low, gravely voice, and she kisses him again with fervor.

 

“Only if you’re loud too,” Historia breathes out as she slides off of his lap, and before he can protest she’s quickly undoing his belt, tossing it aside in the truck bed, and then makes easy work of his fly. Levi raises his hips for a moment as she pulls his pants down just enough for her to pull him out, exposing him to the cold air for a moment. He’s about to say something again before she leans down, taking him in her mouth without hesitation. It’s Levi’s turn to gasp and he throws his head back, too distracted by his cock in his girl’s mouth to feel his head hurt.

 

“Holy fuck,” he curses as she moves her head, her lips moving up and down him. Her tongue feels heavenly against him, and then she pays attention to the tip as she pulls back, making Levi moan surprisingly loudly. He works his fingers through her hair, pushing her hair back, and he is sure to be gentle as he holds her head while she lowers her mouth back down on him. It takes every ounce of self control for him to not just fuck her face when he feels himself touch the back of her throat. “Fuck, Historia, you’re going to make—“ he loses his words as she takes his full length in her mouth, and he takes care to pull her back and off of him. Looking at her as if in a daze, he tells her, “If you want me to fuck you, you should probably slow down.”

 

Historia looks almost sheepish but she smiles; her lips are swollen and her face is flushed a shade of red from the effort. She takes her pants off, leaving her bare from the waist down. Levi slips off his jacket and sets it down, and he guides Historia to lay down with her head on it so she doesn’t get a headache from laying on the hard surface truck bed. Stroking himself for a moment to be fully erect for her, he then quickly slides in and easily fills her, earning a throaty moan from her. Her hair is messy beneath her head on his jacket, her blouse splayed open revealing a lacy bra beneath, and he’s completely inside of her with his hands resting on her hips.

 

Rolling his hips, he begins to thrust in and out of her as he manages to say, “You’re so beautiful, so fucking sexy...” He pushes her legs up and back by her thighs, allowing himself to rock into her deeper. This makes her voice go up in pitch as she moans, squeezing her eyes shut. She reaches between them to touch herself as he moves inside her. “Princess, look at me.” His voice is gentle, contrasting his movements, and her eyes are dazzling as they reflect the stars when she looks at him. He looks like downright pornographic above her, and she holds his gaze as best she can when she is brought to her peak. When she comes down from the high as he continues to fuck her, she wonders why this gorgeous man settled for a broken girl like her. Almost as if he can sense her swirling emotions, he lets go of her legs and lowers himself so he can wrap his arms behind her back as he thrusts, holding her close. He smells like fire and cigarettes, and she can’t get enough of him. He captures her lips in a kiss, her now quiet noises filling his mouth as he moves until he climaxes inside her, slowing to a stop as he just holds her.

 

They lay there for several moments, gently kissing one another as they catch their breath.

 

Realization dawns on Levi and he brushes some stray hairs back from Historia’s face. “I don’t have anything to clean you up with.”

 

She looks at him with a straight face, but failing as she lets a grin slip. “You have your jacket.” Levi rolls his eyes in return, but obliges, and they clean up with his jacket before leaving it in the truck bed, claiming that he’ll throw it in the wash as soon as they’re back. Once they’re dressed properly, he helps her down from the bed and they climb into the inside of the truck to head back. Historia takes the moment that they sit waiting for the heat to blow to take a gentle hold of Levi’s chin and kisses him again, her lips soft and swollen against his. He sighs, working his fingers through her hair at the nape of her neck.

 

When they break away, they stay close, his forehead resting against hers. “I—“ Levi mumbles, “I think you’re great.” He feels ridiculous as he stumbles through his thoughts.

 

Historia lets out a breathy laugh, kissing him sweetly. “Lets head back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hello ( ´ ▽ ` )
> 
> i can’t apologize enough for how long it’s been since the last update. i’ve been working on this since thanksgiving but i’ve had pneumonia since the end of november and i’m still struggling with it. along the way i graduated college! naturally i got pneumonia the week of my last finals, to add to everything. but i digress; i hope this update makes up for my absence.
> 
> next part is actual thanksgiving, and some drama, because what is a family holiday without any drama?
> 
> much love!


	6. thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family drama is had, and many tears are shed

Thanksgiving day did not go how anyone thought.

 

The day begins with Historia waking up to an empty bed, which makes her feel odd. “Is this what if feels like?” She asks the empty room. She pulls her hair up in a messy bun and throws a cardigan over her pajamas before venturing out of her room she’s sharing with Levi, following the sounds of people talking to the living room. She finds everyone but Eren’s parents and Levi in the living room, all eating various kinds of cereal while Eren, Jean, and Sasha play Mario Kart.

 

“He’s in the kitchen,” Mikasa informs Historia, who gives her a nod in thanks before heading in that direction.

 

Historia finds Levi in the kitchen, but he’s not alone; he’s seated at the kitchen table talking to Carla in low voices, her eyes watery and his face serious. When Levi registers that Historia has entered the room he stands up, kissing her with a small smile as she approaches. “Hey,” he greets her.

 

Carla wipes her face of her tears in a poor attempt to hide the fact she’s crying, and Historia immediately recognized where Eren gets his inability to hide how he’s feeling. “Good morning, Historia,” Carla gets up to hug Historia close to her warmly. Historia reciprocates the warmth, kindly ignoring the tears and pretending to not see.

 

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she says instead.

 

Carla waves her hand dismissively. “Not at all. Just happy to have all my kids here with me.” Her voice is sad, but genuine, and she brushes by the couple as she takes her leave.

 

Historia looks to Levi with concern once Carla is out of earshot. “Is everything okay?” She asks, worried.

 

“Yeah,” he answers half-heartedly, but she doesn’t push the matter further. “Lets join the others, yeah?”

 

* * *

 

Dinner comes around quicker than anticipated, and everyone is gathered tightly around the kitchen table, food steaming and the homely smells filling the house. Everyone is dressed decently, despite not leaving the house, in the spirit of putting their best foot forward for the holiday. Grisha sits at one end beside Carla and Zeke, and at the opposite end is Levi between Mikasa and Historia, small and nearly identical smiles present on the Ackermann siblings’ faces.

 

“So, Historia, I know you’re new to this household, so I’ll explain our family tradition,” Grisha tells her. Eren groans and rolls his eyes, earning Jean smacking a spoon against his hand from across the table. Giving his younger son a pointed look, he continues, “We go around the table and everyone says one thing that they’re thankful for this year. It can be big or small, as long as it’s true. Like for me, I’m very thankful that all of you could come back to our home here for the holiday and spend it with Carla and I.” His tone is warm and full of happiness, and he squeezes Carla’s hand fondly.

 

Carla smiles brightly at her husband before speaking, her voice tired. “I’m very thankful for my health, and above all that all of my family is here with me this Thanksgiving.”

 

Eren’s smile is sad, but then he lightens up as he looks at his friends. “I’m thankful that mom is another year cancer free, and that all you guys here can kick Zeke’s ass in Smash Bros.” Carla laughs along with the table as she scolds Eren, who merely shrugs.

 

“I’m thankful that I get another Thanksgiving with my family,” Mikasa chimes in shyly, earning a weak nudge to her shoulder from Levi.

 

Attention shifts to Levi as he glances at Historia, and then to the Yeager parents. “I’m thankful that Historia agreed to spend her break with all of us lunatics.”

 

Zeke rolls his eyes as the rest of the table chuckles, and then Historia feels her face heat up as she is expected to speak. “I’m very grateful that I’m welcomed into such a warm family for this holiday,” She musters, earning a warm smile from Carla.

 

“Well I’m about to be super thankful for Carla’s amazing cooking!” Sasha jests, nearly drooling.

 

“Ditto!” Connie adds, his stomach growling as if for effect.

 

Jean speaks up above the two ravenous people to his left, though a laugh muffled behind a cough as he does so. “I’m very thankful that I’m still welcomed in this home, even after all the fights I’ve had in the yard with Eren.”

 

“It’s because you never win them,” Eren quips, a challenging grin on his face. Jean scoffs, and Zeke clears his throat next to him, silencing the table.

 

“I’m thankful we’re done with this round of thanks and get to eat now,” Zeke drawls, and Levi sighs in annoyance.

 

“It may not be fun for you, but it’s tradition and some of us value that,” Levi points out.

 

Carla elects to diffuse the tension, speaking up. “Let’s say grace, and then we’ll dig in.”

 

Levi takes Historia’s hand under the table, giving it a fond squeeze. She glances up at him during grace, catching him looking at her already. He hides his embarrassment by looking at his lap, his cheeks still red. She bites her lip to muffle a giggle, focusing again on Carla’s voice across the table.

 

* * *

 

Dinner goes by without any event, everyone divulging into their own conversations animatedly that carry into dessert and afterward. Carla and Sasha are doing dishes, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa are playing cards at the kitchen table, and Levi, Eren, Historia, and Grisha are gathered around the kitchen island talking about the horses and possibly riding the next day. Historia is brimming with excitement at the idea of riding again, and Levi watches her eyes lighten up with adoration, his stomach fluttering as he pulls her close to his side by her waist.

 

Zeke, who had disappeared into the living room, comes back with a letter in his hand with a bold letterhead from Sina General Hospital.

 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me that Mom might have cancer again?”

 

They all exchange looks of surprise, shock, and on Carla and Grisha’s faces there was guilt. Carla turns off the water for the dishes she’s washing and turns around, holding a soapy pan in her hands. “Zeke...”

 

“Because last time she actually did have cancer, you drank yourself into a stupor and we had two Jaegers in the ICU instead of just one,” Levi interjects, his voice calm yet firm.

 

Zeke riles, turning to face Levi, his height towering over Levi. “Hey, you’ve got no fucking right—“

 

“I have every right to protect this family from your bullshit antics.”

 

“I—I couldn’t help it, Levi, we were all fucking depressed,” Zeke raises his voice defensively.

 

“Zeke,” Grisha speaks up from across the kitchen, “we don’t know for sure if it’s back again.”

 

“Then why does _everyone_ seem to know but me?” Zeke retorts.

 

Grisha scoffs. “Don’t be overdramatic, everyone does not know—“

 

“Levi knows and he’s not even your fucking _son_ , Dad!” Zeke’s words make Levi step into Zeke’s space, fury beginning to cloud his judgement.

 

“I may not be his son but I was there when you decided to fuck off into every bar and woman who crossed your path until you were nearly dead on the street!” Levi matches Zeke’s volume and anger. Zeke’s face mirror’s Levi’s level of intensity as he takes a step closer to the shorter man.

 

“Levi, stop it—“ Historia puts herself between the two men, only for Zeke to try to shove her out of the way as he fixates on Levi. Levi tries to maneuver himself so that Zeke doesn’t touch her, only pushing Historia back with his own arm, winding her and making her stumble back into Eren, who keeps her from falling to the ground. She’s stunned at the amount of force, her chest aching where his elbow hit. She tries to say something—to scream at them for being so incredibly _stupid_ but they continue on.

 

“I’m not the one who bailed on their family when they needed him!” Levi shouts, inches away from Zeke. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides, his knuckles white.

 

“At least I _have_ a fucking family here!” Zeke bellows.

 

“ _Zeke_   _Jaeger_ _!_ ” Carla yells as she throws her pan in the sink in a loud clatter against the other dishes, the room going silent as Zeke’s words ring in the air.

 

Historia’s jaw hangs open in shock, anger bubbling in her chest followed by a wave of sadness as she sees Levi’s eyes are wide and dangerously dark. Zeke’s shoulders lower for a moment, and he opens his mouth to start saying something else before Levi shoulders past Zeke roughly, heading out the back door and slamming it behind him. Mikasa runs out after him, pushing Zeke aside when she goes by. He looks after her in frustration before turning around. “God fucking damn it!” He slams his hands on the counter. Carla walks over to Zeke but Grisha intercepts her, pulling her into his chest as furious tears fall down her cheeks. Guilt washes over Zeke and he looks around at the shocked faces, lingering on Historia’s confused and angry face.

 

Eren speaks up from beside Historia, breaking the tension. “You royally fucked up.”

 

Zeke’s expression snaps into one of complete aggravation, and he picks up a mug from the counter and throws it at Eren, who ducks, and it narrowly misses Historia as it shatters on the wall behind her. Something ignites within her because she doesn’t even think as she begins to storm to Zeke, only to be held back by Eren’s strong arms around her arms and chest, holding her against as she yells, “What the _fuck_  is your problem?!” Zeke just shakes his head as he stomps out of the kitchen, the sound of the front door opening and shutting loudly echoing in the house.

 

Eren lets go of Historia, who runs out back without thinking twice, looking around to try and spot Mikasa and Levi.

 

She doesn’t.

 

The world feels like it’s spinning around her, so she sits on the ground, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“Historia.”

 

She ignores the voice, burying her head in her hands.

 

“Historia.” It’s Eren, and his warm hand is on her back. She leans into the touch, and Eren pulls her into his chest, holding her as she cries. “It’s okay,” he tells her softly in her ear, her sobs growing as she feels them continue on without sign of stopping. “You’re okay.”

 

They sit like that for a while until she sniffs, her nose congested and her eyes burning from crying, and she sits back, taking in Eren’s appearance. His eyes are red from quiet tears, his brilliant green eyes glistening. “Eren, I’m so sorry,” she whispers.

 

Eren shrugs, a bittersweet smile on his lips. “I already knew. They told me so I wouldn’t react like my brother.”

 

Historia lets out a hollow laugh. “Probably a wise idea.” Eren nods in agreement, sighing.

 

“They didn’t want to tell him unless they knew for sure because when Mom was sick five years ago, he went on a bender because he was so stressed out. He nearly drank himself dead, and he ended up in the hospital alongside Mom,” Eren recounts, his face shadowed with sorrow as he recounts the events. “Dad was so stressed that he just shut down. He wouldn’t leave Mom’s side the whole time. Levi though...he was a rock. He would make Dad go home and take care of himself, help run the ranch and care for the horses while everyone was in the hospital. He’s also the one who helped Zeke straighten up. He was the one who spent the most with him—all of us were so mad he decided to spiral when Mom needed all of us.” Eren wipes his face with his sleeve, and Historia takes his hand in hers. Eren face turns a deep shade of red, more tears falling from his eyes. “Levi is a great guy, Historia. He’s not always himself around Zeke...I love Zeke, he’s my brother, but sometimes he brings out the worst in all of us. Especially Levi. They just butt heads a lot.” He manages a weak smile, but it’s a little less sad than it was a moment ago.

 

As if summoned, Historia hears Levi’s voice approaching but she can’t hear his words he says in a low voice to Mikasa. Eren helps Historia to her feet, both of them watching Levi approach with Mikasa. Her arms are crossed, her red scarf around her neck hiding her mouth, but her eyes are narrow as she watches Levi. His nose is pink from the cold air, but his eyes and cheeks are flushed from what is obvious tears. She wonders how many people have cried since dinner because of the outburst. Levi avoids looking at Historia in the face as he approaches her, only daring to look at her in the eye when he’s right in front of her. She holds her chin up, anger swelling in her chest as she holds his gaze.

 

“I’m sorry,” Levi murmurs, his brows furrowed together.

 

“Go on,” Historia prompts, her tone unyielding. Mikasa pulls Eren inside, giving the couple their privacy.

 

Levi sighs, running a hand through his hair. He looks away at the field and then back at her again, his eyes wet. Historia’s frustration dwindles at the sight, seeing Levi so vulnerable already weakening her resolve. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats, his voice quivering. “I shouldn’t have let you get between us. I’m sorry I clipped you with my arm. I’m sorry if you’re hurt. I’m sorry I let Zeke get under my skin. I...” he trails off, sniffling and looking at the ground. “I’m such a fuckup. I should’ve been the bigger person.”

 

“Look at me,” Historia tells him. He listens, meeting her gaze again. “Look at me when you apologize.”

 

Levi nods, exhaling deeply. “I’m sorry. He’s normally not so brutal, but Carla being sick terrifies him most out of all of us. I should have calmed him down, especially when you tried to get me to walk away.”

 

Historia takes in this information, and wanting to move past all this so she can be there for Levi, she says gently, “I forgive you.”

 

Levi pulls her into a tight embrace, one of his cold hands working through her hair at her nape. “I just wanted you to know my family,” he tells her. “I wanted my family to get to know the girl I love.”

 

There’s a newfound silence between them, and Historia’s heart suddenly races as if it’ll pound right out of her chest. She pulls away from Levi with wide eyes and her hands still on his chest, keeping him literally at arm’s length. His expression is a mess of confusion, hurt, and longing— _fuck_ he’s showing so much emotion he looks like a Jaeger for a moment and it hurts Historia.

 

He says something, but she doesn’t hear it.

 

It’s all too much.

 

Historia slips from his arms and rushes inside, not hearing anything anyone says in the kitchen or the living room. She walks straight into Zeke in the hallway, stumbling when she barrels into him. He steadies her with gentle hands, much unlike how he was earlier with Levi. She looks up at him, bewildered as he says something to her.

 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry—“

 

“Fuck off.” She pushes past him, finally hiding herself in the room she’s sharing with Levi— _Levi’s_ room.

 

The room is sparse with any decorations, only picture frames on the small dresser in the corner and a few on the walls. The walls are painted a light blue, and the bed is made with such precision that she knows is a habit from being in the military. It’s so overwhelmingly Levi that she can’t handle it. He is everywhere, and as much as she wants to be enveloped in his strong, caring arms, she feels like everything is too good—too much.

 

_Am I wrong for wanting this?_

 

She thinks of Ymir, and her heart aches deep within her core. She’s in love but she’s so scared that he’ll vanish from her life—if not like Ymir, taken from her in an accident, but then like her family who willfully abandoned her.

 

She crawls onto the empty bed, pulling her sweater tighter around her, and she cries herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> （；＿；） i’m sorry. i promise things get better. Levi just has terrible timing when it comes to expressing any romantic feelings ever
> 
> also, for clarification, Grisha is still a doctor. but a family business of having horses is something that the Jaegers just kind of kept around. they train them and sell them for different purposes but nothing inhumane. their home here is their main home but Grisha travels a lot for work, along with having a family practice in Shigansina.
> 
> much love, and happy new year!


	7. forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa is the friend that we all need, once again. Zeke is less of an ass. Levi says the thing.

When Historia wakes up the next morning, she’s alone again. It leaves her feeling empty and unsettled, missing the man she was  _supposed_ to be sharing the bed with.

 

She doesn’t leave the bed until a quiet knock at the door makes her sit up as she says, “Come in.” She tries to tame her hair with her fingers quickly, bracing herself for Levi to force their imminent conversation.

 

Instead, it’s Mikasa with a tray of pancakes. “It’s just me.” She shuts the door behind her and places the tray over Historia’s lap carefully before she gets under the covers with the blonde. Her hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, and she’s wearing one of Jean’s flannels. Historia can’t help but smile at the recognition. Mikasa breaks her out of her amusement when she talks again, her voice soft. “Levi slept on the recliner.”

 

“Is he okay?” Historia asks carefully, and the way Mikasa avoids meeting her gaze already gave her the answer.

 

“No.” Mikasa fiddles with the collar of her flannel. “He had a long talk with Zeke, so they’re okay at least. They sat on the porch until three in the morning.”

 

“He told me he loves me,” Historia tells her before stuffing her mouth with food.

 

“I know.” Mikasa _finally_ looks at her. “Do you love him?”

 

Historia chews her pancakes for a long time before answering, “I—I do. I’m just scared to.”

 

Mikasa just hums in response. “What would Ymir say?”

 

The question throws Historia’s mind for a loop and she grips her fork a little bit tighter. “She’d tell me to stop being stupid and to live for myself. To let myself be happy for once instead of worrying about what she’d think.” A sad smile pulls at her lips, and Mikasa’s expression softens. Mikasa puts a kind hand on Historia’s shoulder.

 

“I agree with her,” Mikasa says, and Historia feels a bittersweet warmth well up in her chest. “I may be biased because I love my turd of a brother, but I still would agree with her either way because you’re my friend.”

 

Historia puts down her fork and reaches up to her shoulder, squeezing Mikasa’s hand gently in response. She wants to say something but is worried that she may cry if she does, so she stays silent.

 

Mikasa sees her cue, withdrawing her hand. “I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee in a bit. Eren made the last batch and it was like dirty water.” She takes her leave as well as the now empty tray, and Historia sighs once the door shuts.

 

* * *

 

After talking to Mikasa, Historia quickly showers and gets dressed in leggings and an over-sized gray sweater, letting her hair air dry. She wanders into the kitchen for coffee but it’s nearly done brewing, so she elects to sit outside, needing some fresh air to clear her head.

 

The bench out back is empty and seems welcoming, so she commandeers it. The brisk, cold air is welcome as she sorts through her racing thoughts.

 

She mulls over both of the Ackermann siblings words. Levi didn’t intend to spout out that he loves Historia, and she can’t fault him for that. Mikasa clearly is advocating for her brother, but she also sees where Historia’s personal fears and insecurities were coming from. She helped Historia see reason within this mess of her feelings; ultimately she was right because Ymir would advocate for Historia to be happy above all else.

 

Historia sighs, her heart heavy in her chest.

 

The back door opens quietly, and a glance back reveals Zeke looking at Historia with two coffee cups in hand. Zekesits beside her on the bench and offers one of the mugs to her silently. She looks between him and the light contents of the mug as she takes it, the smell of coffee and vanilla wafting up in her nose.

 

“There’s vanilla creamer in it. I wasn’t sure how you like your coffee,” Zeke explains, his voice neutral and quiet. Historia simply nods, taking a sip.

 

“It’s good, thank you.” She wraps her fingers around the mug to warm her cold hands. Zeke heaves a sigh, his brow furrowing as he makes a face.

 

“You know...” he begins, sounding like he may trail off, but he takes another breath before continuing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have instigated anything between you guys—or my family, but I apologized to my parents for my antics. But Levi—Levi _really_ cares about you. I haven’t seen him as relaxed as he is with you in years. Since we were kids, probably.” Historia shifts in her seat to look at Zeke properly, folding one of her legs under her as she faces him. He meets her gaze and she recognizes shy warmth behind his glasses. “I know I’ve been an ass, but it’s for a good reason.”

 

She raises her eyebrows as she scoffs, taking another sip of her coffee. “Really?”

 

Zeke shakes his head, shifting to match how Historia is sitting. He sets his coffee carefully by his leg while he talks with his hands. “Alright, listen. Levi is fantastic. He’s the best of all of us in this family, aside from my mom. She’s the real jewel of the Jaegers. But Levi is...” he holds his breath as he searches for the right word, “a big ol’ cinnamon roll.” Historia muffles a giggle behind her hand that betrays her apprehension of Zeke, nearly spilling her coffee as she does so. Zeke struggles to keep a grin off his face as he continues. “No, okay, so he cares a lot about other people. He does everything for Mikasa, he adores my parents, and he’s always stuck up for Eren when he’s being an idiot—hell, he’s always watched out for me even when I made it really fucking hard for him to do so.” Zeke is so earnest in how he speaks that Historia wonders if he’s the same man she first met when they had the fire their first night. “Basically, as much as he won’t admit it, he’s a softie. The biggest softie of them all. And he really cares about you—you’ve really brought out the best parts of him. He smiles, Historia, and he hardly would do that after coming back from the army.”

 

Historia looks down at her coffee for a moment before meeting Zeke’s steady gaze again. “He loves me,” she tells him in a soft voice, wondering why she is telling _Zeke_ of all people this new and sensitive information.

 

Naturally, Zeke lets out a deep laugh. “Of course. _Everyone_ knows that.” His smile is kinder and he downs the rest of his coffee. “I’m sorry for being a dick. I’m _really_ sorry, and I know that doesn’t cut it. I just had to make sure you’re actually here to stay and not going to run off and break his heart. I may piss him off, but he’s my brother. It’s my job.” He gently pats her knee before standing, stretching out his long arms above his head. He looks at the kitchen window and sees Levi watching them with Jean, his eyes narrowing when he meets Zeke’s gaze. Zeke lets out a chuckle, picking up his empty mug from beside Historia. “If you want to avoid your next talk, now is your time to run. Levi’s coming outside.”

 

A part of Historia wants to avoid the conversation that she knows is coming, but while she’s knocking one out she might as well tough through the next. She _is_ sleeping in his room, after all. “No, we need to talk. It’s okay.” As she tells this to Zeke, Levi steps out, wearing a navy cardigan over a gray shirt, and he looks so handsome it makes her stomach flip.

 

“Hey,” Levi says in a breathy voice, looking past Zeke, who raises his eyebrows and winks at Historia. She keeps herself from rolling her eyes.

 

“That’s my cue!” He goes inside dramatically, and the tension between Levi and Historia is palpable with their comic relief gone.

 

Historia chews her lower lip nervously, looking at the mug she’s holding in her lap instead of at Levi. He sits beside her, his hand twitching as if he wants to touch her, but he refrains.

 

“I’m sorry if I scared you off,” Levi begins in a soft voice, and behind his calm tone she can hear the telltale shake of nerves, “but I’m not sorry for saying what I said.”

 

She squeezes her eyes shut, taking a deep breath as she wills her racing heart to slow. “You shouldn’t be.”

 

“You don’t have to say it back.”

 

“I want to,” she admits, finally looking up at him. The bags under his eyes are darker, telling of his lack of sleep, but his eyes are brighter as she speaks. “I…” she audibly swallows the lump in her throat, “I love you, Levi, I’m just so scared to.”

 

He looks torn between being elated and confused. “Why?”

 

“Because every other person I’ve loved before has left me somehow.” She feels her vision blur as tears suddenly fall. “My father left before I was even born. My mom never loved me and made sure I knew it every day, letting men in and out of our house and never protecting me from them. Ymir was killed in a car accident on her way to pick me up. People just find ways to leave and I can’t afford to lose you, too,” she babbles, her grip on the coffee mug tightening unconsciously as she lets all of her walls down.

 

Gentle hands easily pry the cup from her hands, setting it down elsewhere, and then she’s pulled easily into Levi’s embrace. His arms are tight around her and his chest if firm against her, shielding her from the world even if it’s just in this moment. “I’m not going anywhere,” he tells her in a low voice. “I promise you that. I love you, and that won’t change.”

 

Three words that became hard to say are suddenly so comforting to her.

 

She wraps her arms around his chest, hugging him tightly. She doesn’t say anything to him but he continues to simply hold her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's short...i know. but hey!! these nerds finally said the L word!!
> 
> for those who also like RivaHisu, I wrote another story called [Meet Me In The Garden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17307887) and it's a canon divergent two-shot, still in progress. if you like this story then you may like that one as well. ;)
> 
> next chapter of this is under way as well. I have the last chapter written out...which is weird. I just gotta connect the dots from here to there. but we still have a ways to go until this baby ends. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> much love


	8. jovial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the three important f words: family, fucking, and food

Historia feels like her heart breaks a little when they leave the Jaeger home.

 

They packed up the Sunday following Thanksgiving, and all the Jaegers gathered by Levi’s truck to bid the couple farewell. Carla is hugging Levi so tightly that he‘s losing air while Grisha hung back, watching Eren embrace Historia almost as tight as his mother hugs Levi with a fond smile.

 

“We’re always here for you. Please remember that,” Eren tells her, pulling back and squeezing her shoulders gently.

 

Historia smiles and turns her attention to Mikasa, who is hiding a small smile of her own when she hugs Historia and asks, “We’ll see you back home, yeah?” Historia just nods, not trusting her words. Eren and Mikasa did more for her than she could ever ask for.

 

Mikasa turns to Levi and gives him a tight hug, her eyes teary when he pulls away. “Please be good.”

 

“Only if you are,” he retorts with a grin. Mikasa pinches one of Levi’s cheeks, and he does the same to her ear.

 

Seeing the siblings interact with one another made Historia’s own emotions swell in her chest, and she was only set over the edge by being the new focus of Carla. Carla pulled in Historia for a warm, tight embrace, Historia’s arms tight against her sides.

 

“Sweetheart, you are always welcome here. You’re family now,” Carla told her, and then Historia clung to her while she cried, involuntarily crying into her shoulder. You’re family now. The words resonate deep in her chest, and Carla just holds her. When she lets go, Grisha gives her a brief hug, patting her shoulder lightly.

 

“Should you need anything, reach out anytime.” To the point yet kind, much like the doctor himself. Following behind Grisha is Zeke, sheepishly watching everyone exchange hugs and farewells, his gaze lingering on Historia.

 

She makes the first move, pulling him into a hug, her face meeting his chest due to the height difference. Zeke chuckles, the sound deep in her ear. “Make sure he stays out of trouble, okay?”

 

When she takes a step back she just nods, wiping her face from her tears leftover from Carla’s words. Zeke steps up to Levi, his gaze stony as he stares down Zeke until Zeke suddenly pulls him into a quick embrace, breaking Levi’s composure. Levi’s eyes are wide as Zeke hugs him, tightening his hold as he lifts Levi off of the ground, whose face contorts into one of annoyance. “Oi, shithead!” Zeke just bellows out a laugh, setting Levi back down and patting his head, much to Levi’s irritation. Despite his act, Levi’s cheeks are flushed a deep red, and he claps Zeke on the shoulder roughly. “Thanks for everything,” he mutters, straightening up as tall as he can be in front of the eldest Jaeger brother.

 

Zeke just grins. “You be nice to your lady. If you break up, we’ll invite her for Christmas instead of you.”

 

Levi’s hard expression softens and he nods in return. Historia giggles.

 

“It’s true,” Eren adds, and Levi nearly tackles him for it.

 

* * *

 

As they’re driving past farms and open fields, the wind whips loose strands of her hair and his around through the open windows. She noticed him tapping his thigh with one hand, his left gripping the steering wheel leisurely. She gets an idea and grins, taking his phone and swiping to unlock it, stopped by a passcode. “What’s your code?” She asks without thinking, and he glances at her handling his phone.

 

“...0852,” Levi tells her, the back of his neck burning as she stares at his unlocked phone for a few agonizingly long moments.

 

“When did you take this?”

 

His wallpaper is a picture of Historia laughing at the Jaeger’s kitchen table, both of her hands holding a coffee mug, and she’s not done up at all. She’s in one of Levi’s sweaters, and her hair is messy and pulled back in a loose ponytail. It’s so incredibly candid and honest, and it makes her heart pound in her chest as she looks at herself.

 

“Yesterday morning,” Levi finally answers. “You fit in so perfectly. I...I want to be able to see you like this all the time.” He avoids looking at her, his gaze fixed on the road before them.

 

“You want to see me right after I wake up?” Her tone is questioning.

 

He laughs. “Well, I just want to see you all the time. When you wake up, when you fall asleep, when you smile...” He glances at her, and while her cheeks are a deep red, she’s smiling just as he is. She seems to remember why she unlocked his phone and she opens his music app, searching for something. “Why did you want my phone?”

 

“To put on car music! We have to pass the time somehow!” Historia’s mood lightens up considerably, and she selects something that’s incredibly poppy and top 40.

 

Levi rolls his eyes, making her laugh, but he doesn’t hide his smile as she sings along to Britney Spears, turning up the volume to a ridiculous level.

 

“ _When I’m not with you I lose my mind_ , _give_ _me_ _a_ _sign!_ ” She’s dramatically dancing in her seat, an arm going out of the truck window and the other occasionally touching Levi’s thigh as she sings loudly. “ _Hit me baby one more time!_ ”

 

Levi can’t help but continue to grin as his girlfriend—he still can’t believe that he can call this woman his _girlfriend_ —makes a fool of herself while having a car karaoke session with herself. She’s not too bad of a singer as well, even if she’s clearly overdoing her performance to make Levi laugh. The way the sun hits her hair, tied back yet blowing in the wind that’s whipping their cheeks, and her eyes are sparkling as she sings makes his chest tighten. His heart is fluttering eagerly against his ribs, and he can’t help but sing along with her.

 

Nothing else matters to him in this moment except for where he’s going and who he’s with.

 

* * *

 

December comes quicker than they expect, and even with Christmas a little over a week away, Historia still has no idea what to get Levi for his birthday. He insists that she doesn’t need to give him anything ever, to which she laughs at him, but he’s adamant. He tries to bribe her with Chinese take out, much to her excitement, but she doesn’t budge.

 

When he gets to her apartment, Historia answers the door excitedly and she takes some of the bags to her counter, and she tells him how much she missed him the last few days he’s been busy with work. He carries on the small talk pleasantly and genuinely, knowing full well he intends to have her against the wall in a minute.

 

That’s exactly what he does once her bag is on the floor and the door is locked.

 

Historia meets his enthusiasm as his hands run down her sides and to her ass, squeezing as he lifts her into his arms. Levi pins his weight against her, her arms wrapped around his shoulders so she can cling to him. She groans into his mouth, and he bites her lower lip in response. She slides her hands to his chest, feeling his muscles tense under her touch. “You should take off your shirt,” she murmurs against his lips, and she feels him grin. He presses his hips firmly against hers, and she nearly moans when she feels his arousal pressing into her as he pulls his shirt over his head and drops it unceremoniously on the floor. Her hands instantly go back to his chest and his find her thighs, flexing the muscles in his arms as he holds her up. She can’t help but lick her lips when she runs his fingers over his shoulders, muttering before she kisses him again, “Show off.”

 

Levi laughs into her kiss and carries her to her room, tossing her onto the bed. She lets out a high pitched squeal of surprise, and he’s fast to move over her, already working on pulling off her pants and underwear in one go. He moans at the sight of her and grabs at her legs, lifting one over his shoulder as he grips her ankle. “Princess, you’re fucking perfect,” he purrs, kissing from her ankle up her calf, pausing at her thigh. He glances at her watching him, and he slowly kisses the inside of her thigh, appreciating every freckle on her milky skin. He when he reaches his usual boundary he looks again at her, and she reaches out, grabbing his chin in her little hands.

 

“Wait,” she hesitates, “can...can we try...” Levi’s eyes widen as her voice trails off, already knowing what she’s asking for.

 

He nods, taking a hold of her hand in his to kiss her palm. He then meets her gaze steadily, his tone firm as he says, “You tell me when to stop.”

 

Historia’s eyes are fearful, her hand trembling when Levi lets go. “Okay.” Levi resumes his trail of kisses down her thigh, glancing up at her in between each one. He finally reaches her center, hovering over her before he looks up again. She nods, her chest rising and falling quickly as she breathes. He reaches up with one hand, resting over her pounding heart over her shirt, and he descends upon her. His tongue laps over her sex, his fingers rubbing over her wet entrance, separating her folds gently as he slips a digit in. She gasps, arching her back into his hand. The small noises that leave her mouth spur him on, thrusting his finger in and out of her. “ _Levi_ ,” she moans as his tongue flicks over her clit, and he adds another finger in response. He glances up at her again but her eyes are shut and her head is tossed back, so he continues. His own arousal is tight in his pants but he ignores it, wanting to bring Historia to her peak first. Oral has never been something she was comfortable with before and he wants focus entirely on her, making this a positive experience. He curls his fingers gently before working on her again, his hand slick with her. Just when his jaw begins to ache with the effort he feels her clench around him and he knows she’s spilling over as she takes a tight hold of his other hand over her chest.

 

He moves away and grabs some tissues from her night stand, wiping off his face and hand. “Are you doing alright, love?”

 

Historia nods, her breathing uneven as she tries to come down from her high. She quickly takes off her shirt and bra, her vision refocusing on him with newfound energy. “Make love to me,” she tells him, sitting upright and grabbing the waistband of his jeans and pulling him against the edge of the bed. “It’s your turn to come.”

 

Levi doesn’t need to be told twice, so he grins wickedly at her as he undoes his pants, letting them drop to the floor around his ankles. Kicking them off, he grabs her legs and pulls her sharply to the edge of the bed. He doesn’t think before he easily enters her, her sex already slick from his own work. He holds her legs up for a few thrusts before he hoists them over his shoulders, angling himself to go deeper with his movement of his hips. Since he didn’t address himself at all while pleasuring Historia, he doesn’t last very long looking down at her as he fucks her, her face flushed and her golden hair a halo around her head on her sheets. He grips her thighs as he thrusts roughly, and then he moves his hands to her hips, squeezing the supple skin under his fingers while he leans down to kiss her fervently. Historia moans out his name and this is what unravels him as he manages to pull out and finish on her stomach. They breath heavily for a moment while he grabs more tissues, cleaning her up before they relax. He crawls onto the bed beside her, brushing back damp hair from her forehead.

 

“How are you feeling?” Levi asks her, pressing his lips to hers gently.

 

Historia hums as she mulls over the question. “Tired,” she admits with a laugh, and Levi is so taken aback he can’t hold back his own chuckle. “But seriously, I’m good. I’m okay as long as I’m with you.”

 

Levi blinks dumbly for a moment, processing her words. Historia is not often verbally affectionate so he blurts in response, “I love you.” He’s said it a few times, but he’s still anxious that the weight of the phrase will scare her off.

 

She seems to be lost in his gaze for an agonizing few minutes before she eagerly kisses him, rolling him into his back. He sighs against her lips, the tension leaving his shoulders as he deepens their kiss, their lips moving leisurely against one another.

 

When she pulls away, she’s smiling again. “I love you too, Levi. Let’s eat that food we left on the counter.”

 

They throw on their previously discarded clothes, opting to shower after they eat. The discussion of Levi’s birthday is pickedback up and he continues to insist she doesn’t do anything on his behalf, making her outright laugh at him. When he hands her a pint of lo mein, she considers giving in for the briefest second. “Are you going to get me anything for Christmas?” She asks, and he cocks an eyebrow at her in turn.

 

“Of course. You’re my girlfriend.”

 

Historia refrains from throwing her food at him. “Then it’s settled: I’m getting you birthday and Christmas presents.” There’s finality in her tone, and she points her chopsticks at him to emphasize her determination. “No arguments.”

 

He rolls his eyes at her, but doesn’t push the matter further. He sits beside her on the sofa, flicking through Netflix to find something to put on. He’s poking through some of the Tarantino films when Historia makes a face as she swallows a dumpling, the color draining from her face. “Historia, are you okay?” He sets down the remote and hesitates doing the same with his food. Her eyes are unfocused and she doesn’t seem to hear him, so he asks again. “Are you alright? You look—“ he cuts himself off as she springs to her feet and runs past him to the bathroom where he hears her begin to vomit. He grimaces at the sound but sets down his food and slowly makes his way to the bathroom, the door ajar, and he can see her on her knees in front of the toilet as she heaves. He gently pulls back her hair, looking away from her while she empties her stomach. About ten minutes go by and she’s finally done getting sick—which is really just dry-heaving at this point—and she sits back on her heels, her chest rising and falling heavily. Her body has a light sheen of sweat, but Levi pays no mind as he rubs her back. “Better?”

 

“Mostly, yeah,” Historia nods. “I guess I won’t be eating Chinese again anytime soon.” Levi nearly snorts, but he withholds his amusement so he can focus on Historia.

 

“Go ahead and take a shower, brush your teeth. I’ll make you some soup and we’ll watch whatever you want.”

 

She nods weakly, and he leaves her to it so she can have some privacy.

 

Twenty minutes pass and the soup is awaiting her at the table, and a heavy sigh escapes past her lips as she sits down. “It smells great. Is there ginger in it?” Historia inquires absently, and Levi looks up at her with slight bewilderment in his widened eyes.

 

“There’s maybe a teaspoon in the whole pot,” he informs her, and she tastes a small spoonful.

 

“Huh. It’s good though, thank you.”

 

Levi stares at her for a long moment before he hands her the remote. “Put on whatever you want, lover.”

 

Historia easily picks out The Sweetest Thing, far from Levi’s choice of Tarantino films. However, she’s not feeling well and she assures him that Cameron Diaz’s escapades will help ease her upset stomach. He refrains from rolling his eyes and instead joins her on the sofa when he finished cleaning the dishes. Historia curls against his side, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Levi’s chest rumbles with laughter as Cameron Diaz discovers what a glory hole is, and he realizes that Historia is asleep on his chest. He moves her hair out of her face, admiring the color that’s returned to her cheeks and the freckles across her nose.

 

He briefly wonders how he managed to win her over, but then focuses again on the movie. He doesn’t want to question a good thing when she’s the best thing to happen to him.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Historia wakes up with a queasy stomach, only able to lie in bed for a few minutes before she bolts from the bed and nearly falls on her way to the bathroom, barely making it in front of her toilet as she vomits.

 

It’s been a week of her getting inexplicably sick, and the gears in her head suddenly start working.

 

Panic settles in her gut where her nausea once was.

 

A shower, a trip to the supermarket, and an hour later, she’s pacing her bedroom. She’s ignoring the item on her bathroom counter, her phone face-up and lit up with the time as she paces. _8:_ _03am_. Her background is a picture of her and Levi at the Jaeger’s home, both of them smiling and facing the camera; Mikasa took that picture their last night there. _8:04am_. Her heart is pounding in her chest as she paces, and she digs her nails into her palms nervously. _8:05am_. A chill runs down her spine, anxiety making her stomach flip. _8:06am_. Tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. So many possibilities run through her head and she’s fearful of all of them.

 

 _8:07am_.

 

She takes a deep breath as she steps back into her bathroom, bracing herself as she looks at the item on her counter.

 

She sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i’m not sorry.
> 
> much love!


	9. holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tension, siblings, christmas

Levi stares at his phone, rereading the message displayed on it from Historia in response to him asking her about watching a movie and taking her out to dinner.

 

_Sorry, not feeling well again. Maybe tomorrow._

 

His gut sinks. This is the second time this week that she’s blown him off without much explanation. He types out a message, his thumb hovering over the send button.

 

_Did I do something? Whatever it is, I’m sorry._

 

He hesitates. What the hell is the right thing to do in these situations?

 

He hits send.

 

He paces his living room, awaiting an answer. No response.

 

So he calls his next best resource.

 

“ _Hello?_ ”

 

“Mikasa, I need your help,” Levi begins.

 

“ _What did you do?_ ” Direct and serious, as if chiding a child. In any other situation he would roll his eyes.

 

“I may have upset Historia, but I have no idea how.”

 

Mikasa sighs in exasperation. “ _What happened the last time you were together?_ ”

 

“I brought her take out, we had sex, we ate, and then she got sick. So we watched a movie and she fell asleep,” he recounts easily.

 

“ _Did you leave without saying anything?_ ”

 

“No. I stayed until she woke up, and then I left, so she could rest.”

 

Mikasa hums thoughtfully. “ _Did you say anything stupid?_ ”

 

“Aside from normal conversation, no.” This earns a laugh from the younger Ackermann.

 

“ _Well, you should just be extra sweet to her. Is she still sick?_ ”

 

“She says she is.”

 

There’s another pause before Mikasa suggests, “ _Bring her good sick food, and maybe some flowers. Remind her that you’re there for her, and just go out of your way to be romantic on Christmas since that’s in two days._ ” Mikasa is silent again while Levi nods despite her inability to see it. “ _You_ are _doing something together for Christmas, right? Which, by the way, you’re not getting out of your birthday either._ ”

 

Levi huffs in exaggerated annoyance. “Of course I’m doing something for her. And I know you won’t let me out of it, I didn’t intend on trying.”

 

“ _You better, otherwise Mom and I both would end you,_ ” she informs him factually. He doesn’t argue that point. “ _Good luck. Let me know how everything goes if you need a lady translation._ ”

 

“Good deal. I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“ _I hope it works out. Love you._ ”

 

“You too.” Levi hangs up, running a hand through his hair anxiously when he checks his idle inbox again. Still no answer.

 

Taking Mikasa’s advice, he goes to the grocery store, picking up a container of chicken and dumpling soup, some rolls, and a small bouquet of cyclamen flowers. He heads over to Historia’s, texting her to see if it’s alright, and calling twice when she doesn’t respond, getting her voicemail each time. Worry knots in his chest, unease settling along with it.

 

When he gets there he knocks courteously, eventually sighing as he gets his key and unlocks the door. “It’s Levi,” he calls as he opens it, “I brought you some sick food.” He walks in and sets his gifts on the counter, his brow furrowing as he takes in the sight of Historia on the sofa, clutching her pillow like a security blanket. Her hair is a mess as if she hasn’t brushed it in over a day, her eyes are rimmed red, and her skin is blotchy down to her chest. It’s obvious that she’s spent the day crying, and his concern becomes as clear as her distress. “What happened?”

 

He begins to move toward her and Historia shakes her head fervently, flinching away from him. She pauses her show that’s playing in the background. “You shouldn’t have come.”

 

At her words it is Levi’s turn to flinch, unable to hide how taken aback he is. “Excuse me?”

 

“You should have called first,” she reiterates, wiping at her red cheeks with the back of her hand.

 

“I tried,” he retorts. “You weren’t answering any of my calls or texts so I was worried you were too busy puking your insides out. Did I do something here?” He shouldn’t be getting angry but he feels attacked, and her demeanor does nothing to help as she scoffs irritably.

 

“You keep just _pushing_ , Levi, and I can’t handle that!” Historia’s voice increases in volume, and he takes a deep breath to try and stay calm. He winces and his composure slips as she continues berating him. “You just—you’re always around, you tell me you love me, you just don’t ever hold off! You keep coming with more and more!” She gestures to the items on her counter as if to prove her point.

 

His mind swims. “So you’re mad because I love you, and I’ve made that clear, and because I kept my promise when you told me that you run from good things and to chase you?”

 

“What makes you think that this is a good thing?” She spits out, and his face falls. Her eyes widen, fresh tears falling down her face.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Levi manages to keep his voice steady and unshaken, despite the sudden anger coursing through him. “We were fine a few days ago—hell, even last week, you told me that you couldn’t wait for the next time we see my family again—and now you don’t think what we have is good?” He takes a cautious step forward, throwing up his hands in defeat. “What’s going on here that I’m missing?”

 

Historia stares at him through her tears, and he sees fear clearly in her cerulean eyes. He takes another step toward her but she quickly tosses aside her pillow and walks away from him toward her bedroom, leaving him alone with his questions and confusion. A moment later she comes back and wordlessly hands him something small and thin. She stands beside him and a sob racks her body as he stares at the small object in his hands.

 

It’s thin, white, and has a pink cap. A tiny legend is on the opposite end in blue lettering.

 

 _Pregnant:_   _||_

 _Not_ _Pregnant: | —_

 

The world around him spins, and the air feels like it’s punched out of his chest as he looks at the two blue lines. “You’re pregnant,” Levi states breathily. At his words she sinks to her knees, her crying echoing in his ears; the sound brings him back to reality and he gets to her level, pulling her against his chest as she cries. “It’s okay,” he assures her, repeating it like a mantra, “it’s okay. We’re okay. You’re okay.” He cycles through the words, rubbing her back. It takes a while—just how long, he doesn’t know—and she eventually calms down enough to stop her sobs. When she pulls back he looks again at the positive test in his hand, and he blurts out thoughtlessly, “You pissed on this.”

 

Somehow, this makes Historia laugh, and the sound is so beautiful to him that he nearly cries in relief. He laughs along with her, unable to keep himself from doing so. She wipes her face again, sniffling all the while. She glances at the test and then back up to Levi again, her eyes glistening with anxiety. “So…I’m pregnant,” she manages to say, her voice quivering. Something in her gaze shifts as she finally says the words aloud, and it’s like a weight is lifted from her shoulders. He can see the wave tension visibly ebb from her tiny body. “What do we do?” Her voice is so small, it makes his chest tighten.

 

Levi drops the test and cups her face gently in his hands, his thumbs caressing her flushed cheeks. His own heart is pounding as he thinks of what he wants, but he chooses instead to say, “Whatever you want.”

 

Historia’s eyes widen, clearly not having expected that answer. “I don’t know what I want,” she tells him honestly, her voice a whisper.

 

Levi swallows the lump in his throat. “Do you want to keep it?”

 

“I—“ she stutters, unable to get the words out.

 

“If it’s about money, I can pay for it—“

 

“No,” she says firmly, her gaze suddenly focusing. “No. I can’t do that.”

 

Levi feels light-headed, wondering if he’s really following where she’s headed with this. “Then…?”

 

Historia straightens her posture, resolve giving her newfound confidence to hold Levi’s gaze as she speaks, “I’m keeping this baby. You can either do this with me, or you don’t do this at all. My father stuck around for a few months and then left, so mother had men come and go as they pleased, and she didn’t give a damn what happened to me. I’m not having any wishy washy commitments here. We either do this together, or you don’t do this with me at all.” Her words are final and leave no room for argument.

 

He nods slowly, the world settling back in around him. “Okay.”

 

“ _Okay?_ ” She repeats in disbelief. “Just okay?”

 

He pulls her in for a kiss, and he rests his forehead against hers as he speaks quietly, but with certainty. “I love you. I’m not leaving for anything. If you’ll let me, I want to be a part of your life in every way—including doing this together with you. I…I’ll be honest, I didn’t think we would get to this point so soon, but I’m not running away.”

 

Her crying starts anew, and he pulls her in for another embrace. “Thank you,” she sobs into his chest. “I was so scared you’d walk out.”

 

“Not a chance,” he assures her. “I wouldn’t. I _couldn’t_.”

 

She believes him.

 

* * *

 

 

Christmas comes, and once the afternoon is upon them, Historia joins Levi at his apartment. There’s no tree or decorations, but the kitchen is full of comforting smells while he cooks. Historia leaves her overnight bag in his bedroom and joins him in the kitchen, where he’s in casual clothes and a pristine white apron.

 

“How is it that you can cook a full holiday meal and still keep everything spotless?” Historia laughs, kissing him in greeting.

 

Levi smirks, setting down his utensils. “Just habit. Everything’s pretty much done, we’re only waiting on Mikasa.” His hands find her hips, pulling her close to him. “We have a few minutes…” He leans down to kiss her, the back of her waist hitting the counter. He presses himself against her, and she rolls her hips into his. “We don’t have to worry about any risks for now. We can just enjoy this as we are,” he purrs, eager to feel her move again.

 

She giggles, threading her fingers through his hair, grazing over the short hairs at the base of his neck. “That’s exactly how we got into this situation, you know,” she reminds him playfully.

 

He kisses her again, catching the corner of her mouth as she turns her head, so he inches toward her neck. She sighs, her body relaxing under his touch as his fingers slide under her sweater, caressing her skin above the waistline of her jeans. She moves one of her hands to the front of his jeans, massaging the area, and grinning when he moans. They freeze when they hear a knock at the door, and Levi groans. “Tell her to leave,” he complains.

 

“She’s your sister.”

 

“And your friend.”

 

Historia gently shoves him away, and he rolls his eyes as he leaves to answer the door. He opens the door to find Mikasa holding a bag of gifts and a party hat, which is promptly dropped onto Levi’s head. “Happy birthday, and Merry Christmas,” she greets in a neutral voice, and Levi ruffles her hair in return.

 

“Thanks, Mika.”

 

Mikasa makes herself at home, embracing Historia in the kitchen. “I brought boozy eggnog,” she announces as she produces a large mason jar from her bag of tricks, which Levi accepts gratefully. He pours two glasses, earning an odd look from Mikasa. “There’s three of us, dummy.”

 

Levi shares a look with Historia, who recovers for him. “I’m not drinking tonight,” she explains casually.

 

Mikasa narrows her eyes. “You love eggnog. You told everyone at Jean’s Christmas party last year.” Historia’s face burns as she tries to think, distracted by her embarrassment at the memory of Jean’s Christmas party from the year prior. Mikasa’s eyes widen as her mind works, and Levi can literally see the lightbulb flick on. “Holy shit, you’re pregnant.”

 

She awaits a reaction, only getting a nervous smile from Historia and Levi holding his breath. When no one speaks, Levi sighs, deflating in defeat.

 

“We planned on telling you—“ He is promptly cut off with a vice-like grip of a hug from his sister, the air squeezed out from him.

 

“I’m so excited for you guys!” Mikasa squeals, her normally cool demeanor flipped. “How long? What do you know?”

 

Thankfully, Historia rescues Levi, and Mikasa hugs her but not nearly as tightly. “We only know that I’m pregnant. I’m guessing a month or two given...the times we were careless,” she explains as euphemistically as she can. Mikasa cocks an eyebrow, but her wide smile remains. “But we’ll obviously tell you things as we know them.”

 

Mikasa is pleased with this assurance, and she takes one of the glasses of eggnog. “I’m surprised, but I’m super happy for you,” she tells them again sincerely. “I really am.” She looks at Levi warmly, and the tension leaves his shoulders. She then asks nonchalantly, “So are you guys going to get married?”

 

Levi, who is mid-sip of his eggnog, immediately spits it out, sending a spray of the drink all over his clean floor, and sputters over his glass while Historia’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. Levi doesn’t dare answer, his face flushed deeply down to the back of neck. Historia returns Mikasa’s questions with one of her own. “Why would we?”

 

“Because,” Mikasa looks at Historia pointedly, as if this all should be obvious, “you could get Levi’s health insurance, and the baby would too. Having a kid is insanely expensive and legal things involving the baby would be easier, right? Not even to mention all your doctor visits you’ll have.”

 

Historia takes in this information, wondering why she hadn’t thought of this before. Levi speaks up, his composure a little more put together than Historia’s. “Money isn’t an issue,” he glances at Historia, knowing they hadn’t really discussed it yet, “because I’m paying for all that she’ll let me, which I hope is most things.”

 

There’s a tense silence among them before Historia nods, reaching over to take Levi’s hand in hers. “Of course.” She turns back to Mikasa, who’s expression is curious, albeit a little guilty.

 

“I didn’t mean to pry, I’m sorry. I just thought—I didn’t know what I thought,” she corrects herself.

 

Historia shakes her head, her smile returning. “You’re fine. I guess it makes sense. We’ll talk about it, though. It might make your parents sad if we don’t, but we’ll see.”

 

Mikasa nods, pondering Historia’s words. “Probably Mom more than Dad, but I think they’ll just be happy to get a grandchild. When are you telling them?”

 

“Probably after my first doctor’s appointment, just to be safe.”

 

Levi turns off the oven, pulling on oven mitts. “I’m interrupting the baby talk for dinner.”

 

Historia sighs, relieved.

 

* * *

 

The evening carries on without issue, transitioning from talk of Historia’s pregnancy to just catching up, discussing everything and nothing.

 

When Mikasa takes her leave, Historia lets out a deep breath, exhausted from the excitement.

 

Levi notices her slumped shoulders as she flops down on the sofa, “This is only the beginning, you know.” When she looks at him questioningly, he continues, “We have to tell all the Jaegers, our friends, your coworkers will learn…” he trails off, hesitating, “and if you want, we can tell your family.”

 

Historia’s eyes narrow as she casts her gaze away from him. “I don’t have any family left.”

 

“But your foster family—“

 

“Are not my family,” she finishes. “We haven’t talked since I moved out at 18 anyway.” Levi realizes his mistake and he kneels in front of her on the sofa, resting his hands on her thighs. He rubs his hands up and down the fabric of her leggings, enjoying the soft material. “You’re my family now,” she tells him.

 

“Yes, you are,” he agrees. To make amends, he switches topic. “I have your gift.”

 

“Both of yours are in your bedroom if you can grab that, too.”

 

He returns with three gifts, handing her one as he sits beside her. It’s wrapped meticulously, much like everything else he does, and it fits easily in the palm of her hand. She looks to the two in his hands and nods at him, smiling nervously. “Birthday boy first. Start with the small one.”

 

Levi looks to the items in his lap, and he carefully unwraps the top item, finding a stack of chocolate bars. They’re labeled with different kinds of high grade teas, their wrapping bright and colorful. “They’re infused with tea. I didn’t know which ones were the good kind so I got all of them,” Historia confesses. “They all smell good.” Levi holds them to his nose and sniffs, and even their mixed scents are pleasant to him. He sets them aside and begins to remove the wrapping of the second item, discarding the paper and staring at the item in his hands numbly.

 

It is a framed picture of him, Eren, Mikasa, and Zeke; Eren is laughing, Zeke has a shit-eating grin, and both Ackermanns have small, fond smiles. Mikasa and Zeke are on the Jaegers old, beaten sofa, with Eren and Levi sitting on the floor in front of them. Levi doesn’t remember exactly what they’re talking about, but he remembers after Zeke and Eren were making fools of themselves, he turned to look at Historia, who was illuminated with joy.

 

His heart is racing and he feels overwhelmed. “Thank you,” he whispers as he looks up at her with glossy eyes. She just smiles, leaning forward to kiss him, lingering a little longer.

 

“Happy birthday, Levi.”

 

He hushes her with another kiss. “Your turn.”

 

Historia turns the small, rectangular box over in her heads, tearing the paper without thought. She unwraps it to find a thin gold necklace with a small knot as the pendant. She lifts it from its holder, marveling at how dainty it is. “It’s beautiful,” she beams at him. She leans in close again, murmuring as her lips hover his, “I love you.”

 

Levi’s heart swells at her words, and he pulls her into his lap as he smiles into her kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...*waves from the corner*
> 
> let me know your thoughts? are you as shocked as levi? as excited as mikasa?
> 
> next week i’ll make up for my twists and holiday fun with some fun times with our favorite couple ;)
> 
> much love


	10. nugget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> three more f words: fondling, fighting, and feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hi friends
> 
> i'm sorry this is so overdue. i had some health issues i'm still working through so i admit that this got put on a minor hold. it also didn't help that i was a little unsure of where to go with this, plot-wise. i do hope that you enjoy where it's headed, though!
> 
> i do admit that it's a little short, but i'm working on making the next chapter a little more substantial. have a little smut and also feels as my apology for taking forever to update. ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

 

When Levi wakes up, he rolls over. Historia is on her side, facing away from him. She’s in one of his t-shirts, and her hair is disheveled on her pillow, but her body is relaxed as she breathes deeply. He snakes his arm around her waist and moves toward her, pressing up against her from behind. He buries his face in her hair, breathing deeply as his nose touches the back of her neck. She stirs at his touch, and her small movements make him tighten his hold, his hand settling on her stomach. He’s half-hard already after just waking up, and he groans when she wiggles her backside.

 

Historia laughs quietly when he slides his hand under her shirt to cup her breast. “Good morning, you.”

 

“Why are you so _hot_?” he whines.

 

“You ask me this all the time.” She grabs his hand in response and guides it to her abdomen, so he laces his fingers with hers in turn.

 

Levi just sighs, humming contently. “We’re gonna be parents.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They’re quiet for a moment, and Historia feels Levi tense behind her when his hold on her hand tightens slightly. “Move in with me.”

 

Historia rolls over wordlessly and she holds Levi’s gaze, all sleep gone from her body. “Why?”

 

“I want you to,” he says simply. “There’s a lot of reasons, really, but that’s the short answer.”

 

She doesn’t answer, but she kisses him chastely. “I…I don’t know, Levi,” she says softly. “This is just a lot. What if this doesn’t work out? What—“

 

“Hey, hey,” Levi cuts her off, shushing her. “None of that. We can’t freak out until we know something will happen for sure. And even then, I won’t freak out. I’m here no matter what.” He brushes her hair out of her face, and he tries to smile. “The offer is there. Just remember that.” He kisses her again, before moving away. “I’m going to shower and get ready for work. I can drop you off at the school today, if you want.”

 

He doesn’t see how Historia’s face falls, but he hears how her voice sounds uneasy when she speaks. “I’ll shower with you if that’s okay.”

 

After brushing their teeth, they both get into the shower, steam filling the bathroom as the hot water runs over them both. Forgetting the unanswered offer of moving in together, Levi gently grabs Historia’s hips and pulls her close, and she cranes her neck to eagerly take his lips with hers. He makes a surprised sound, but his hands work around her back, holding her flush against him. She’s warm under his touch, and she reaches between them to take hold of him, already hard in her hand. She grins when his breathing hitches as she strokes him lazily, squeezing at the base of his cock when she wanted to and then thumbing his tip. He digs his fingers into her hips, leaning down to bite and kiss at her shoulder.

 

“I can’t be late,” he groans as she strokes him faster, “there’s an important meeting today.”

 

“Then we can make this quick.” She punctuates her words by slowing her hand’s movements, angling him downward to rub against her center. He bucks his hips and moans, then stepping toward her until she’s backed against the shower wall, making her gasp because holy _fuck_ the tile is cold.

 

“Only because you’re so good to me, princess,” Levi croons. He spins her around, reaching one hand to grab one of her breasts and using the other to guide himself into her, sliding in easily with her slick as well as the water, and he settles that hand on her hip. She takes in a breath sharply, slightly unprepared with the lack of foreplay or preparation in general, but after a moment he feels so _right_ inside her that she moves back against him, her nerves tingling pleasantly. When she moves, he takes that as an okay to move himself and he thrusts, lewd sounds of skin meeting skin echoing in the bathroom. She braces herself on the wall with one arm, moving her other hand to rub at her clit, losing herself in the moment.

 

“Fuck, Levi,” Historia sighs, and he moves his hand from her breast to where she’s touching herself, moving her hand away so he can be the one to undo her. She shivers with pleasure and her knees shake.

 

She thinks back briefly to when they used to fuck like this for the sake of fucking, determined to keep feelings out of it, and she wants to laugh at herself. Even back then something drew her to Levi and made her keep coming back for more despite how attached she was getting to the man.

 

And now he has her bent over in his shower like one of the first times they were together, bringing her to her climax swiftly with quick movements of his hand and hard thrusts into her.

 

She melts in his grasp, and feeling her tighten around him makes his movements stutter.

 

“Historia, I’m going to—ah, I won’t last long,” he stammers, his hold tightening on her. Encouraged by his words and his touch, she moves her hips in time to meet with his, the pace becoming more sporadic until he reaches his peak, unloading into her.

 

They breathe heavily, and he pulls out so she can face him again. He takes her in his arms to kiss her, slowly and tenderly. He cradles her face in his hands, moving her wet hair from her cheeks. They’re taking way too long in the shower, the hot water now just warm, but she clings to him desperately with each kiss on her lips and his roaming hands all over her still.

 

“I love you,” she whispers, almost too quiet for him to hear over the sound of the shower.

 

He hears her anyway. “I love you more.”

 

They finish in silence otherwise, quickly washing up and cleaning themselves off. Levi’s smile doesn’t leave his lips, and Historia can’t help but feel guilt grow in her chest the closer the end of the shower comes. She avoids his gaze as subtly as she can while still savoring every gentle touch he bestows on her, yearning for more.

 

Once out of the shower, she takes her time getting dressed while he does so hurriedly, realizing how little time he has until he has to leave.

 

“If you want me to drop you off at work we’ll need to probably just pick up breakfast on the way,” Levi says offhandedly as he buttons up his white shirt, straightening his collar.

 

“Yeah, about that,” Historia grimaces as she pulls her plain green dress over her head. She plays with the hem, wishing she could distract herself with how soft the material is instead of have this conversation. “I’m not going to work today.”

 

Levi grabs his black tie, beginning to tie it in his mirror with precise movements of his slender fingers. “What do you mean? It’s Tuesday.”

 

She focuses her gaze on his hands instead of his eyes. “I’m going to my doctor today.”

 

Levi freezes, his tie halfway tied and his shirt not really tucked into his slacks as he stares at her, bewildered and angry.

 

“You scheduled your first doctor’s appointment on the day with my meeting with our biggest client, and you’re telling me about this _now_?”

 

Historia shifts on the bed, guilt wrapping its cold fingers tightly around her racing heart. “I have a sub coming in today. I wanted to go alone.”

 

His hands drop to his sides, the tie hanging loosely around the back of his neck. “I thought we were doing this together.”

 

“We are,” she begins to explain—or well, try to. “I just need to go alone. Make sure I know what’s happening and what I want to do.”

 

“You’re kidding,” Levi scoffs, shaking his head incredulously. “What’s happening is that you’re pregnant, and you told me we’re going to be parents,” he deadpans, his eyebrows furrowing together in frustration. “I don’t understand where you think you’re headed with this train of thought, unless you’re trying to see if it’s too late to back out?”

 

After a half-second’s thought, Historia’s mind catches up and she rises to her feet, just as irate as Levi now as she says defensively, “I am _not_ getting an abortion, Levi!”

 

“Then what the fuck is the problem? Why are you shutting me out?” he asks exasperatedly. His angry front cracks and she can see the edges of hurt revealed in his eyes. “You told me we either do this together or not at all. I told you where I stand on that. You let me know when you figure it out for yourself.” With his final words, he grabs his suit jacket from a hanger abruptly and storms out, the sound of the door snapping shut echoing in the now quiet apartment.

 

Historia stands in his bedroom, alone, furious and terrified of what’s to come.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, Historia sits on the bench outside of the building Levi works at, and she just stares at the sonogram photo in her hands as she cries.

 

Her first doctor’s appointment went well.

 

She’s eleven weeks pregnant, and the baby seems to be doing just fine. The sonogram photo is black and gray, and she can see the clear outline of what is a growing little life. There’s a head and tiny beginnings of arms and legs from the small body. She instinctively rests her hand on her abdomen as tears prickle at the corners of her eyes, and she begins to feel absolutely _terrible_.

 

Levi should have been there with her.

 

She’s so petrified of becoming her parents, of failing, of somehow fucking up before this even became real that she completely ostracized the one person that wants to be there for her more than anything.

 

With a newfound determination, Historia goes into the building and up however many floors until she reaches the one Levi’s is on. She goes past people who look at her curiously, questioning why she’s here. She knows his meeting is over by now and he should be in his office, probably still angry with her, but even so, he says “Come in.” calmly when she knocks on his door.

 

His eyes widen at the sight of her, completely shocked at her appearance at his job. “Historia, what’s wrong?” he asks, concern overtaking his surprise. Her face is red, her lips swollen from gnawing on them nervously, her eyes glistening with old and new tears, and her neck and chest is splotchy with color from what must have obviously been sobbing before she came here. She’s holding a piece of paper in one of her hands, the other clenched in a weak fist. He cocks an eyebrow as she shuts the door a little too loudly behind her. “Talk to me, please. What’s going on?”

 

Historia steps around his desk to stand beside him, and he still doesn’t get to his feet, not wanting to appear confrontational. She roughly puts the paper in her hand against his chest, and he takes it in his own. He realizes it’s not just paper, but thick photo paper.

 

“I’m sorry,” she finally speaks.

 

He stares at the sonogram photo, his eyes wider than she’s ever seen before.

 

Levi is one to shield his most vulnerable emotions. In the months of them seeing each other, she notices that only she gets to see his most exposed, inner soft side that is guarded strictly. The only other people to see him emotional is his family, and even then, he’s grown to hide from even them.

  
What is written clear as day all over Levi is a mix of shock and wonder. His heart is pounding, a wave of emotion laying over him like a heavy blanket. He feels like he’s just been punched in the chest without the pain, only the feeling of being winded and caught entirely by surprise.

 

Historia has no idea what to say because she knows exactly what feeling he’s struggling with identifying.

 

So she says the first thing that comes to mind. “It has fingernails now.”

 

Levi blinks, startled out of his daze as he looks back up at her, his own stormy eyes glossy. “Fingernails?”

 

For some reason she laughs weakly as she nods. “Yeah. And a heartbeat.”

 

He sets the sonogram photo down on his desk and he reaches out to hold her lower stomach, making her laugh again. “I’m not really showing. It’s just a little firmer than the normal fat that’s there—“

 

“Tell me everything,” Levi cuts her off, his eyes on hers, and his voice is shaky.

 

Historia holds his gaze, and she realizes that he’s as terrified as she is. She smiles, her expression softening fondly, and she places her hands over his. “I’m eleven weeks along. Everything looks good. Dr. Jung suggested some prenatal vitamins, and I feel so stupid for forgetting to even start taking them. I felt so dumb but he made me feel better—when you’re not expecting, I guess a lot of people don’t remember that that’s something to do. He said we have a healthy little nugget in here,” she taps the tops of Levi’s hands over her abdomen, and this seems to be what breaks him. He laughs, but tears fall at the same time, and the tension that filled his body seeps out as he pulls Historia forward. He rests his cheek against her belly and cries, laughing all the while. She runs her fingers through his hair as she talks more about her appointment, her fingernails lightly running over his scalp as she tries to recall every mundane and important detail. “I promise I’ll never pull a stunt like today again,” Historia says firmly, and he holds her a little tighter at her promise.

 

“I love you so much,” Levi mumbles against her dress. “You and the little nugget,” he hums as she rubs her fingertips against the short hair of his undercut.

 

She giggles, looking at the photo on his desk. He kisses her stomach in turn, hiding his smile as he does so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will have some familiar faces...and some new ones as well. ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
> 
> let me know what you guys think and feel! i love hearing your feedback and talking to you.
> 
> much love


	11. revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family fun...or not so much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i apologize for the long delay, but my best friend had her baby today so i’ve been reinvigorated with inspiration!
> 
> i’m also going to acknowledge and apologize in advance for any mistakes i make about pregnancy or doctors visits. i know several women close to me who’ve had children so i’m trying to be accurate, but i personally haven’t had a pregnancy last beyond 12 weeks so this is becoming new territory to write from. so please feel free to gently correct me if i get things wrong lol.
> 
> anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

After that day at the office, Historia moved in with Levi.

 

It was low-key and uneventful, but she’s been slowing moving items into his apartment. Clothes and toiletries came first, then small picture frames to adorn the walls, then decorative items sparsely placed around the space. Levi has become accustomed to finding Historia all over the apartment, and he’s grateful for her presence littered around every corner.

 

After a particularly lazy weekend morning, Levi wanders from the kitchen to give Historia her herbal tea. He only has on sweatpants, the waist hanging low on his hips, showing off the defined v of his abdomen.

 

“ _ Fuck _ , Levi,” Historia swoons from the sofa, making him pause in the threshold of the kitchen. “How are you so perfect?” Her eyes trail up and down his figure, appreciating every dip and curve of his figure.

 

He can’t hide the smirk that pulls at his lips as he saunters over, setting the tea on the coffee table as he leans over the arm of the sofa to sneak in a lazy kiss. She grins, a girlish giggle slipping from her lips. He moves to thread his fingers through her hair, already messy from sleep and lack of styling, but is startled from the gesture from his phone ringing.

 

Levi sees the caller ID and his body tenses, muscles tightening with anxiety. Historia manages to catch the name on his phone display—Zeke—and she doesn’t protest when he leaves the room to take the call. He grabs his cigarettes from his jacket in the bedroom before going outside to his apartment balcony, completely out of earshot. She doesn’t hear his voice, but she can see him pacing outside as he lights up a smoke. She holds her stomach, which has started to feel firm as she is beginning to show, and her chest tightens with worry.

 

Outside, Levi tries to uncoil the knot in his gut as he puffs on his cigarette, the taste of nicotine bitter on his tongue. “What happened?” he asks, straight to the point.

 

“ _Mom went to her doctor today_ ,” Zeke’s voice is low, but Levi can hear the sound of wind in the background. Zeke must be outside as well. “ _It’s her follow-up for all of her tests and shit they did_ _._ ”

 

“And?”

 

A small pause; Levi may punch the wall in anticipation. Luckily Zeke’s calm voice somehow breaks Levi’s tension. “ _All clear. They’re going to monitor her a little more closer than they have been, because this was way too fucking close, but right now, she’s okay_ .”

 

“Thank god,” Levi breathes, most of his nerves leaving him. Most. “I’ll have to come up to see her soon. I’ve been worried.”

 

“ _She would love that. She misses you_. ” There’s a small chuckle. “ _Historia, too. When you guys left after Thanksgiving she wouldn’t shut up about how great she is for you_. ”

 

“Yeah.” Levi inhaled deeply, exhaling smoke as he taps some ash off of his cigarette. “Listen, I need to talk to you about her, actually.”

 

“ _Dude, what did you do?_ ” Zeke immediately jumps to conclusions. “ _Did she dump your ass? Is that why you’ve talked to us less than normal?_ ”

 

“No, no,” Levi assures him. “We’re still together. We, uh,” he fumbles with his words. Normally Zeke would give Levi shit for not being totally composed, but the eldest Jaeger seems to pick up on how genuinely  nervous he is. He hardly ever stammers. “Shit. Fuck it. Historia is pregnant.”

 

There’s a long pause at his words, both of them silent. Zeke finally speaks, sounding completely shocked. “ _Levi. You’re fucking with me_ .”

 

“Get used to being called Uncle Zeke, shit-head.”

 

“ _NO WAY!_ ” Levi moves the phone away from his phone as Zeke shouts in disbelief. “ _This is insane. I would’ve guessed it would have been me or Eren doing this first, but damn. Oh, shit, Mom—Ma! Guess what! Levi knocked up Historia!_ ”

 

Levi suddenly tenses again as he can faintly hear Carla’s excited shriek. He puffs on his cigarette, his heart beating hard in his chest as this begins to feel painfully  real again. He wants to roll his eyes when he hears Carla’s voice ramble on eagerly, but warmth spreads in his body where his nerves frayed before, embarrassed to think he would’ve gotten any other reaction from the Jaeger family.

 

His family.

 

Zeke must have put Levi on speaker because he can hear Carla, her questions pulling him from his thoughts. “ _Levi, congratulations! This is so wonderful! I’m so happy for you two! How far along is she? Do you know the sex yet? How is she feeling? Oh, you’ll have to finally kick that nasty smoking habit!_ ”

 

“ _Bummer. She’s right, asshole_ ,” Zeke chimes in. 

 

Levi chuckles. “She’s 16 weeks along. We were planning on telling you soon but I was going to try and do so in person.” He inhales from his cigarette as Carla assures him it’s okay he hadn’t told them yet. “She’s doing well. The morning sickness finally eased up so it’s not every other minute. We have an envelope with the sex written down in it, but we were planning on waiting to tell you guys that she’s pregnant first before we opened it.”

 

“ _Oh, I’m so happy for you, sweetie. Is she there?_ ”

 

“Yeah. One second.” He puts out his cigarette as he goes inside, Historia wrinkling her nose at the smell of him as soon as the door opens. He holds his phone out to her, having the decency to look apologetic. 

 

“It smells terrible now that I have the sense of smell of a dog,” she complains. She accepts the phone from Levi, looking slightly confused. “Plus it’s bad for the baby. Why do I have your phone?”

 

“Carla wants to talk to you. I told Zeke and his loud mouth couldn’t wait for me to say anything.” He looks at her pointedly, at which she just laughs as she puts the phone to her ear. “I’m going to shower.”

 

“Hi Carla,” Historia smiles, waving away Levi. She curls up comfortably on his couch, and he pauses in his bedroom doorway. She looks so  right in his apartment, on his couch, catching up with Carla so easily on the phone like they talk every day. She makes his formally cold apartment feel like a home.

 

When she catches his eye, he gives her a small smile before disappearing to shower.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks later, Carla and Grisha are in town, practically dragging Zeke along with them. Levi is already fed up with his adoptive brother, but steams silently as Historia is adoring the company. They’re here for the week, and the couple takes their weekend off to spend time with the visiting Jaegers.

 

When they’re out for lunch with the whole Jaeger clan, Levi can’t help but find Carla and Grisha’s fawning both endearing and nerve-wracking. Mikasa, Eren, and Zeke are enjoying seeing Levi squirm under all the attention while Historia manages the best she can.

 

“You’re just positively glowing, Historia,” Carla gushes over the blonde. “You’re going to be wonderful.” She’s spot on; Historia is especially radiant today. Levi knows too well that she’s nervous about parenting and motherhood, but he can visibly see some relief with Carla’s reassurance.

 

“Thank you,” Historia beams. “It’s still so weird for me. I’m starting to feel movement here and there, but it always stops when Levi tries to feel it.”

 

“Oh, that’s normal. When you start to feel heavy kicks he’ll catch it. The early flutters are good though!” Carla chimes. She continues on, Historia nodding politely with a pleasant smile.

 

In an effort to redirect Carla’s attention even for a moment, Levi sips on his tea before eyeing Mikasa. “So Mikasa...when did you and Jean officially become an item?”

 

Her silver eyes widen indignantly before her face flushes, and Carla zeroes in on her adoptive daughter. “He finally made a move! Honey, he’s such a sweet boy!”

 

Eren snorts at his mother’s comments, earning a jab to the ribs from Mikasa. Historia’s eyes glitter with amusement, and Levi rests his arm around the back of her chair, his fingers lightly touching her shoulder. Zeke and Grisha share a knowing look, not chiming in to save anyone from Carla’s motherly rambles.

 

“Mom, come on—“ Mikasa tries to deflect.

 

“I can’t help it!” Carla throws up her hands in a gesture of mock-surrender. “The only one who still lives with us is Zeke, so I only get to love on you guys a few times a year when I see you.”

 

Feeling Mikasa stewing with embarrassment beside him, Eren throws her a lifeline by drowning Levi again. “Aren’t we supposed to know the sex of the baby by now? I need to know what kind of uncle to prepare for—being a fun uncle, or a protective one,” he jokes.

 

Historia reaches into her purse to pull out an envelope, cradling it in her hands delicately. Levi squeezes her shoulder comfortingly, nodding. “Together?”

 

“Yeah.” He moves her arm from her shoulders to clumsily help her break the seal of the envelope. His heart pounds in his chest in what feels loud enough for the whole table to hear as they pull out the ultrasound. Carla holds Grisha’s hand in a grip tight enough to bruise, and the trio of Jaeger children are waiting with baited breath as Levi and Historia read the contents of the envelope.

 

Historia breaks into a smile that looks like it would hurt her cheeks, and Levi’s head spins as she tells the table, “It’s a girl!”

 

Carla practically bursts with joy, running around the table to hug the couple tightly while Grisha pats Levi on the back with a proud smile. “Having a daughter is a blessing above all others,” he tells him. 

 

Levi smiles warmly, his emotions turbulent with this new revelation about the baby—his daughter. He’s pulled out of the swirl by Zeke grumbling sarcastically, ”Thanks, Dad.”

 

Grisha rubs the back of his neck abashedly, and Levi can see pink dusting Mikasa’s cheeks again, a shy smile pulling at her lips. Their steely eyes meet and she quietly shares, “I’m really happy for you, Levi.”

 

His heart swells, and he listens to the newfound excitement of the table with refreshed contentment.

 

Lunch continues with ease, and everyone agrees to part ways until dinner. Mikasa plans on getting Jean, and Eren intends on bringing his parents and Zeke back to their hotel they’re staying at for the week. Once everyone parts ways, leaving the couple on the sidewalk, Historia sighs as she pulls Levi into a hug. His arms go around her shoulders, holding her close.

 

“I’m sorry if it’s too much,” he murmurs into her hair.

 

She hums, shaking her head. “No, it’s wonderful. It’s nice to know I have your family since I don’t have any,” she assures him. “They’re all so sweet. Even Zeke, in his own way.”

 

“Gross.” He scrunches up his nose. She pulls back to give him an exasperated look before cracking a smile. He rolls his eyes and takes her hand in his, lacing their fingers together as they begin to walk home.

 

“I was thinking about names,” Historia begins, “and I really like—“ She’s cut off by a man’s voice behind them, gravely and accented. The sound makes them stop walking, startled and caught off guard.

 

“Oi, Levi.”

 

Levi’s hold on her hand suddenly tightens painfully before he lets go and steps behind her, his hands lightly touching her sides. She holds her belly instinctively, anxiety making her skin tingle.

 

“I see you haven’t grown any yet.”

 

The voice is gruff, drawing out the vowels just enough to make her wonder where the man is from. Since Levi hasn’t gone off the wall yet, she turns around, peering around Levi’s shoulder to look at who’s got him so clearly on edge. She’s startled to see just a tall older man with a scruffy beard, wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

 

“I hear you got yourself a little lady, and boy, she is  a  little lady indeed. Guess she won’t be for long though, huh!” he bellows out, a laugh lacing his voice.

 

“Kenny,” Levi growls menacingly. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

“Trying to find you, short stuff. Now why don’t you be a gentleman and introduce me to your lovely lady. I want to meet the gal carrying on the Ackermann name.”

 

“Fuck off, Kenny,” Levi snarls at him, moving to start leading Historia away from him, only to be stopped by Kenny’s next words.

 

“ Historia Reiss , I have something I need to talk to you about, whether you like it or not.”

 

* * *

 

They follow Kenny to a local diner, sitting in a corner booth. Historia cradles her belly protectively, her heart racing while Levi radiates fury at his uncle’s unannounced presence. Kenny, however, reclines leisurely in his half of the booth once their waitress drops off his coffee and waters for the couple.

 

“Why did you look us up, Kenny?” Levi asks, direct to the point.

 

“Relax, boy. I’m not totally here for you.” Kenny focuses on Historia, his eyes gleaming with interest. “Miss Reiss, I’m afraid I’m a bearer of bad news. I’m here to tell you that your sister died.”

 

Historia’s heart flips and promptly sinks to her gut. “My...sister? I don’t have a sister,” she states uncertainly.

 

“Well, technically, no. She was your half-sister on your father’s side,” Kenny concedes, correcting himself. This seizes her attention again, her eyes widening. Kenny’s gaze bore into hers as he explains, “Little lady, I’m a... _curator_ , of sorts. I find things for people.” He takes a long drink of his coffee. “Your father had a family, which is why he didn’t stick around when he knocked up your poor mother. He had one daughter with his wife, and her name was Frieda. You’re practically her spitting image aside from your hair color, and your eyes. Your eyes are your mom’s.” Kenny waves his hand dismissively. “Anyway, right before your pops kicked the bucket, Frieda found out about you. He confessed his dirty secrets to her and told her he’s got a bastard kid somewhere out there. So then Frieda wanted me to find you. Once she learned about you from your fuckwad father, she was determined to find you.”

 

“Frieda...” Historia says her name aloud. Levi reaches under the table to gently squeeze her thigh, rubbing his thumb comfortingly over the material of her dress. “What happened to her?”

 

Kenny sighs. “She’s been sick for a long time. Right after I found you guys, she passed. She was a real sweetheart, that girl. She wanted to reach out to you and meet you. When I told her you’re pregnant, she was over the moon. But unfortunately she ran out of time.” His gaze darkens before a softer emotion shines through. “She went peacefully, and she was happy to know you’re doing well.”

 

Historia blinks, her eyes welling up with tears that spill over and trail down her cheeks. She wipes at her face as she tries to compose herself, the baby squirming around while she struggles with her emotions. She rubs her belly absently, silently willing the small life to relax. “I had a sister,” she whispers. “And she’s gone.”

 

“I’m sorry, Historia,” Kenny laments. “You’re in good hands, though.” Levi’s stoic expression shifts for a moment, cocking an eyebrow at his uncle’s comment. It’s perhaps the nicest thing he’s ever said about his nephew. “Don’t look at me like that, kid. I wasn’t fit to be a parent, but you turned out alright. You’re better equipped than I was to raise a child.”

 

That’s an understatement , Levi thinks. He instead replies neutrally, “Thanks.”

 

“Between our genes and the Reiss in you, the runt will be a looker!” Kenny bellows with a wide grin. Levi’s bewildered expression remains, the conversation having not gone at all the way he anticipated.

 

Through her tears, Historia’s mouth curls into a sad smile. “Thank you for telling me about Frieda.”

 

“Oh! That reminds me,” he perks up, “I’m sure you’ll find out from a lawyer soon, but she left you everything she had. There’s no other Reiss family left alive ‘cept you, little lady.” He turns to focus on Levi, who straightens his posture under Kenny’s scrutiny. “You take care of this one, kiddo.” He rises to his feet, tossing some bills to pay for the coffee. “I know I wasn’t the greatest while you were growing up, and I’m not asking to be involved since you probably don’t want me to be, but send your old uncle pictures of the brat sometime when it shows up.”

 

“She. It’s a she,” Levi corrects without thinking. Kenny simply grins mischievously before walking away, waving at them once as he leaves.

 

Once he’s outside of the diner, Historia heaves a sigh, and Levi relaxes a little. She leans against him, her hands atop her belly, fluttering her eyelids shut as she takes a deep breath. He touches his lips to the crown of her head, allowing his tension to ebb. “Are you alright, princess?” he asks in a low voice.

 

“Yeah.” She looks up at him and he can see the exhaustion showing in her face now that they’re without family around. “Let’s head home for a bit before dinner.”

 

He presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts!! the end is near, but we got a few chapters until this ends. ;)
> 
> much love


	12. darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which levi and historia deal with their demons

 

He hears shouting.

 

Shooting pain. In his leg, then his side. Blinding pain.

 

Screams echo in his ears, accompanied by gunfire. The blood rushes to his head, roaring, roaring, **roaring** —

 

Levi awakes in a panic, his body covered in a cold sweat, drenching his side of the bed. The sheets stick to his skin, slick with sweat. He kicks the sheets and blanket off of him, looking around the room and talking quietly to ground himself. “I’m home,” he tells himself. “I’m home. I’m safe. I’m...” he trails off as his focusing vision lands on Historia, sleeping on her side, curled up into a half-circle facing him. He sighs as he looks at her belly and then her serene expression as she sleeps.

 

He silently gets out of bed and moves to the kitchen, grabbing his cell phone from the nightstand. He splashes cold water on his face in the kitchen sink so the noise doesn’t wake Historia, who’s already beginning to lose sleep from how much the baby moves around. He pats himself dry with paper towels, doing what he can to get rid of the remaining sweat. He settles for what he can, knowing he’ll clean diligently after work. For now, he heads into the living room and takes the blanket under the coffee table—one of many Historia brought when she moved in—and settles into the sofa, scrolling through his text messages. The tightness in his chest hasn’t subsided, but he doesn’t want to wake Historia. He can faintly hear the rumble of explosives in his memory, the ghosts of friends crying out for help.

 

He calls the one person who will somewhat understand.

 

After four rings, he hears a groggy, “ _Hello?_ ”

 

“Hey. Sorry, I know it’s late, but can you talk?”

 

“ _Levi, it’s nearly 3 o’clock in the morning. What do you want?_ ” Mikasa groans.

 

“I said I know it’s late, okay?” he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I need someone to talk to.”

 

There’s silence, and then she asks in a more awake voice, “ _Dreams again?_ ”

 

“Yes.”

 

“ _Military or Kenny?_ ”

 

“Sometimes I can’t tell anymore,” he confesses. “It starts with one and ends with the other. It’s all a fucking mess, Mika.” The way his voice strains gives her pause, and he takes a deep breath.

 

“ _What brought this on? You seemed to be doing better, especially once Historia moved in._ ”

 

Levi takes another shaky deep breath, hunching over. “I have been,” he mutters. “She helps me so much, you know? She’s just so good to me. Better than a sorry fuck like me deserves.”

 

“ _Hush,_ ” Mikasa chides gently. “W _e all have baggage. Some is just heavier than others. Is this just old feelings popping back up?_ ”

 

“No,” he shakes his head even though she can’t see. “Listen. You can’t be mad right now, okay?”

 

“ _Okay_ ,” she agrees slowly. “ _I can try._ ” She pauses, waiting for his next words.

 

He’s silent for a long time before he breaks and says, “Kenny found us.”

 

“ _He did_ **_what?!_** ” Levi moves the phone away from his ear as Mikasa shouts into the microphone, her voice lowering again. “ _Sorry Jean, just go back to sleep—no, I’m okay—it’s Levi—_ “ he waits as she gets her bearings, her voice level again despite the tense tone. “ _Sorry, Levi. What did he want?_ ”

 

“To talk to Historia. Turns out she had a sister that died recently—her name was Frieda—and left her everything. She took it better than I thought—Kenny was apparently a good friend of her father’s brother. Kept up with the family after he died, and Frieda asked a final favor of him before she went, too.” Mikasa remained silent as Levi extrapolated the situation. “I’ve called him once since then and told him we heard from Frieda’s lawyer. He—“ Levi cuts himself off, hesitating. “He...he said that he’s sorry, for how he was with you most of all.”

 

“ _He should be,_ ” she scowls. “ _While he was being the tough guy with you he practically ignored I was around_.”

 

“I know. I’m not defending him. I’m just the messenger.”

 

“ _I’m not forgiving him_ ,” she says finitely.

 

“You don’t have to.” There’s a lengthy pause as Mikasa sighs. She doesn’t say anything else, so Levi blurts put the next thing that he’s thinking about, something that he’s been itching to tell Mikasa for weeks but was too terrified to. His heart races in his chest as he speaks the words, the tightness in his chest knotting painfully.

 

“I want to marry Historia.”

 

Mikasa remains silent, but for an entirely different reason. In her shock, she dumbly asks, “ _Yeah?_ ”

 

“Yeah.” He works his hand through his greasy hair. “I won’t ask yet. Now’s not the time.”

 

“ _What about the baby?_ ”

 

“We’re planning on doing things on paper so it’s easier for her and the baby, yeah. But a real marriage…I want that, Mika. I just can’t ask for that yet.”

 

“ _Well, I approve. She’s good for you, and you seem happier with her than I’ve seen since we found the Jaegers._ ” Her voice is full of warmth, the tone of the conversation shifting. “ _Whenever you ask, you need to tell Mom and Dad first._ ”

 

“I will,” he promises.

 

“ _Good_.” There’s rustling from her side of the line, and then she says tiredly, “ _I’m going to go to bed. Are you okay?_ ”

 

Levi mulls over the question before replying, “Yeah. Thank you.”

 

“ _Good night, then. Love you._ ”

 

“You too.” He stares at his phone screen blankly, processing the conversation he just had with his sister. He feels like the room is quiet again, the only sound remaining being his deep breaths. His head shoots up as he hears soft footsteps, instinctively bracing himself in his state of exhaustion. He relaxes when he sees Historia in the doorway to his—their—bedroom, in loose shorts and a tank top that clings to her torso and swollen belly. Her hands rest on her stomach as she stares at Levi with glassy eyes and slumped shoulders. “Historia,” Levi says breathily. “You should be resting.”

 

“So should you,” she tosses back weakly as she steps toward him, joining him on the sofa. “I heard you talking to Mikasa.”

 

He tenses up tersely, his once calm heart racing again. “What did you hear?”

 

“Enough,” she answers as she reaches up to hold his face. He tilts his head toward her hand, her thumb rubbing his cheekbone. “I love you. I know it’s hard to talk about what you’ve been through…and I don’t expect you to talk to me. But I do want to be here for you as your partner…” Stray tears fall from her eyes, a sad smile pulling at her lips. “Let me be here for you. Please.”

 

Levi takes her hand on his cheek in his own, squeezing affectionately. “I’m sorry I haven’t let you. I’m also sorry you heard everything not from me directly. I just…everything’s been stressful. What put me over the edge was Kenny. He just brings back a lot of shit that I don’t like to remember.”

 

“I can understand that. When he told me about my father, I just—“ she bites her lower lip as she wipes her tears with her other hand, diverting her gaze from Levi to her lap. “I’m terrified to become my mother, you know? She let anything happen to me as long as she kept me alive. That was the only thing she succeeded in.” Her cheeks flush with emotion, crying openly as she’s unable to hide her emotions. “I couldn’t keep myself safe then. I can’t be here for you the way I want to be. I just feel like I’m so helpless and _weak_ —how can I be a mother to our daughter? What if I fuck everything up?”

 

Levi’s heart sinks in his chest. He puts his arm around Historia, pulling her into his chest. Her shoulders shake as she cries, her hands warm on his bare skin, and he doesn’t have the _faintest damn clue_ what to say.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers, “I’m just so tired because she keeps kicking every night and I’m getting so big and I can’t handle all these stupid feelings…” she rambles on, and only when she says “ _I can’t do this_ ” does Levi place his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back enough so he can look her in the eye.

 

“Listen to me,” Levi begins in a firm tone, his hold on her arms gentle. “You are not your past. Your past has shaped you, but you are stronger than that. You’re—You’re the strongest person I know.” He swallows as she looks at him with wide eyes still brimming with tears. “You won’t fuck everything up. We’re bound to fuck _something_ up—“ she gives a choked laugh at that, and Levi can’t help but let the corners of his lips pull up, “—but if I know anything about you, it’s that you love this little life more than anything already.” He moves a hand to take hers and guides it to her belly, some skin showing from her tank top stretching thinly over her body. “I’ll never stop loving you. One day, I’m going to marry you.” Her eyes go round, but he keeps talking. “One day when we’re ready. But until then, I’ll remind you every single day if I need to that you’re _so_ strong, and that you’re going to be a great mother.”

 

Historia’s tears spill over again, but she smiles at Levi with red cheeks. Her lips part in a small ‘o’ suddenly, and she slips her hand out from beneath Levi’s on her stomach. He begins to move away when she puts her hand over his, keeping it in place. “Wait.”

 

He does, and then he feels it.

 

He feels _her_.

 

A small tap against his scarred fingers, and then one more. He looks down at his hand with shock before looking up to Historia’s bright eyes, the dark circles underneath her blue tinged pink as her whole face lights up. “That’s—that’s?!”

 

“Yeah,” she nods enthusiastically. “It’s her.”

 

It becomes Levi’s turn to cry, sharing in this joyous moment with Historia as warmth blooms in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends! i know i keep saying we're approaching the end, but i mean it for real. there's about two chapters left. it hurts my heart but i'm _so_ grateful that you've all hung on this long. also, we broke over **1000** hits!! i literally can't express enough just how thankful i am that you have taken an interest in this story, and for those that come back every week, your commitment makes me cry happy tears.
> 
> i've started another rivahisu multi-chaptered story if you're interested in more rivahisu goodness! it's [Such Great Heights](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18476629) and is in its early chapters.
> 
> another update will come in about two weeks time as i'm going out of town tomorrow for a week to see family. i can't wait to see y'all soon!
> 
> much love


	13. beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> delivery of the little nugget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i've rewritten this chapter twice. i'm really, really hoping this lives up to all of your expectations.
> 
> i won't try to describe birth since i haven't been through it, but i've done what i can to construct the scene and view it from the levi's point of view. everything else is just emotions and feels because i definitely got teary-eyed writing this.
> 
> i hope you all enjoy this as much as i did! <3

With the passing months, Levi sees a shift in Historia.

 

She embraces the imminent arrival of their daughter more and more, her demeanor significantly more relaxed once she accepts that her fears about motherhood won’t disappear. She simply learns to talk about these anxieties—to Levi and Carla, especially— and she begins to make small steps of progress. She also talks about Ymir, shocking everyone, Levi and Mikasa most of all. They're mostly good memories, and Levi feels his heart swell when Mikasa and Historia laugh about the dumb adventures Ymir dragged Historia into as a teenager. He doesn't pry for more of these stories so that he's not picking at wounds he knows are scarring over, but he's grateful every time she opens up on the subject further. Seeing Historia just doing better mentally overall brings him a happiness he can’t explain, even when he tries to with Carla.

 

Carla just laughs and tells him that he’s so hopelessly in love that it’s precious.

 

He mulls over his thoughts when his phone vibrates with a notification.

 

_So the baby is bound to show up any day now!_ he reads in a text message from Carla. _Have Historia call me when she feels up to it. I want to plan our trip for the birth. Love you._

 

He grins to himself before pocketing his phone, deciding to seek out Historia and relay the message. She’s likely in the kitchen since she got dressed before him, making tea or breakfast. He wonders what her choice of tea is for him today, his mind wandering until he sees her, everything else leaving his thoughts in an instant.

 

Her floral dress flows loosely over her figure, draping over the baby bump that’s become prominent. Her golden hair is wavy from the previous day’s curls that have since fallen, and the sun from the window seems to hit her perfectly.

 

She looks ethereal.

 

She cards her fingers through her hair as she looks over her shoulder at Levi with a surprised smile. “Hey. I didn’t hear you coming,” Historia greets him. He comes up to her from behind and leans in to kiss her, lingering as he parts her lips with his tongue. Her smile grows against his lips before she pulls away, reaching up to put her hand over the nape of his neck, her fingertips rubbing the fuzz of his undercut affectionately. “You’re very sweet this morning,” she remarks as she looks up at him.

 

“I’m always sweet for you,” he retorts quietly. He kisses her again, his hands finding her waist and running up and down the curves of her sides. His fingertips linger over her hips, growling when he feels nothing underneath. “You’re bare, aren’t you?” As he goes higher, he reaches around to cup her breasts, making her breathe deeply as she arches into his touch. Against her backside she feels his hard length, making her squeeze her thighs together in her own arousal.

 

“Levi—you have to go to work—“ Historia reminds him breathlessly. He pushes her hair aside so he can kiss her neck, his teeth grazing over the thin skin with small bites.

 

“Tch.” He guides her slowly to the living room, making her sit on the couch. He unbuttons the wrists of his shirt, rolling up the sleeves carefully to his elbows. Her eyes follow the movements, warmth pooling in her abdomen at the sight. Levi holds her gaze when it snaps back up to his dark eyes, moving his hands to her thighs to lift them slightly. “I always have time for you, princess.” With that, he sinks to his knees and dives under the skirt of her dress, finding her center with his mouth instantly. Historia melts into the sofa as his tongue explores her folds, his fingers roaming her inner thighs in a delicate way that makes her shiver. She tosses her head back against her seat as he moves a hand to slide a digit into her, adjusting so he can swirl his tongue at her clit. She curls her toes and puts a hand on his head, pulling gently at his hair as she rocks her hips. She wants so badly to ride his face, but he moves his hand on her thigh to her hips to hold her in place. Her knees tremble and her grip on his hair tightens, surely messing it up; she doesn’t care since he adds another finger, picking up the pace with his tongue so he can bring her to the edge. She’s so sensitive to everything right now that it doesn’t take long for him to make her spill over, whimpering when she climaxes.

 

“Fuck, Levi,” Historia sighs. “I love you and your mouth.”

 

He reappears from under her dress, his mouth glistening with her pleasure as he smirks at her. “I know,” Levi boasts, rising from his knees before going to wash his face and hands. Historia comes down from the high of her orgasm, her breathing evening out when he returns, his hair back in place, his sleeves unrolled, and suit jacket on. She looks up at him through her daze as he leans down to kiss her tenderly, his nose bumping hers gently. “I’m going to leave for work. Call Carla when you can, she wants to plan coming for the baby.”

 

“Okay,” Historia nods. “Your tea is in the thermos. I love you.”

 

“Love you more,” he replies instantly, giving her a warm smile before he heads off for the day.

 

Her hands settle on her belly as the baby kicks, making her wince slightly as she hums in response. “I know,” she says to her stomach, wondering if the baby can really hear her. “I think he's great, too.”

 

* * *

 

That night, Levi awakes with a start.

 

He was sleeping surprisingly well when he feels a tight hold on his bicep, shaking him incessantly. He shoots straight up, his body tensing anxiously as he looks around the room, settling on Historia beside him in the darkness. The moonlight streams in from the window, giving him weak light so he can somewhat see her through the night. “Wha—What happened?” he asks urgently. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m okay,” Historia assures him. “I just think my water broke.”

 

Levi stares at her, the weight of her words hitting him like a bat to the head. Historia waits for him to respond, unsure of how he’ll react.

 

He finally just says loudly, “Fuck.”

 

Historia laughs, and usually the sound would make Levi smile, but he’s still hung up on her words. She tries to bring him out of it with more humor, adding, “At first I thought I peed, but then I realized that’s definitely not the case.”

 

“We’re having a baby,” he states dumbly, trying to process.

 

She laughs again, cutting herself off as she grits her teeth halfway through, groaning weakly. “Yes, that’s what that means,” she articulates, holding her belly as she breathes sharply. “I’m having contractions.”

 

Levi spurs into action, his body moving on its own as he thinks to himself over and over again the same thing: _We’re having a baby._

 

* * *

 

Levi hates seeing her in a hospital gown, but he tries to remind himself that it’s all for a good thing—the best thing. Even so, his chest tightens when she doubles over with contractions that only grow in strength, her face red from effort and wet from crying. Her voice is hoarse from crying out as they become increasingly painful. Levi ultimately feels utterly useless and helpless as he watches Historia go through the worst pain she’s ever felt, over and over again, weeping as she feels overwhelmed at one point from it all.

 

She’s on her side with a peanut ball between her legs, and Levi is leaning over her, trying to speak words of encouragement that end up falling short as she retreats into herself.

 

“I can’t—Levi, _help me_ ,” she sobs as she clings to him through a contraction, her hold on him leaving bruises. He doesn’t feel the pain physically from her grip but instead feels his insides twist and knot with guilt. “Help me, please,” she pleads before yelling out agonizingly. Levi just looks at her with wide eyes, unsure what to do other than just continue talking to her.

 

“Historia—princess, you’re doing great—just breathe, okay? Breathe with me,” he tells her. She opens her eyes to look at him blearily, the discomfort of her contraction beginning to ebb. He breathes deeply, walking her through doing the same until she’s able to do so on her own. “You’re okay. You’re doing wonderfully. The nurses will come back soon. We’re gonna have a baby soon and it’ll all be over.”

 

“I don’t want to be pregnant anymore,” Historia wails.

 

Levi knows better than to be amused at the comment in this moment. So he kisses her forehead instead, comforting her with his words. “You won’t be soon. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

When the doctor returns, everything begins to move at an unstoppable pace.

 

They check her again, reassessing if this is going to be drawn out more or if a C-section is going to be necessary. Historia is irritated when Dr. Jung is jovial about the situation until he tells her that it’s finally time for the baby to show up. “We don’t have time for any of those shenanigans,” he tells her. “The baby is coming _now!_ ”

 

Levi is at Historia’s side again, his hand in hers, his other on her pillow behind her head and occasionally moving her hair from falling in her face. “Just keep breathing, Historia,” is all he can manage to say. Her legs are propped up, and he’s thankful that he can be at her side and not seeing everything else. Grisha had assured him it’s not at all horrifying the way some people make it out to be, but Levi didn’t want to take the chance. He’s happy being above the belt even if it means his hand is being crushed by his girlfriend.

 

“Give me a good push—there we go! Good job Mama,” the nurse encourages Historia, who is covered in a sheen of sweat. Her hospital gown slides down her shoulder as she reaches for Levi, holding his hand in a grip that he is sure will break a bone or two.

 

“I can’t do this!” Historia’s cries out, tears falling down her cheeks as she breathes heavily. “I can’t, _I can’t_ —“

 

“Baby girl needs another push!” Dr. Jung interrupts, obviously seeing something since he grins. Historia complies, shouting with all her effort as she does so. Levi watches anxiously, torn between feeling concerned about the obvious pain Historia is in and the excitement that comes with the doctor’s next words. “Historia, open your eyes. Watch your baby come out,” the doctor tells her in an increasingly energetic voice. Historia, through the pain of her pushing, manages to do as she’s told as she looks down between her legs over her belly at the physicians, and her world as she knows it changes in the next moment. A baby’s cry fills the room, and her vision is blurred by fresh tears as she begins to sob.

 

Her newborn baby is placed on her chest, and everything aligns around this tiny life that she cradles against her with trembling hands.

 

Nora Kuchel Ackermann is welcomed into the world at 11:02am, and Historia believes that nothing is more perfect than this little girl.

 

Historia tears her gaze from the baby to Levi, who’s crying as openly as Historia while he looks at the two most important women in his life. He kisses Historia, tasting tears as he does so—who they belong to, he doesn’t know nor care.

 

They’re parents now.

 

“I love you,” she murmurs tiredly.

 

“I love you too,” he echoes.

 

The nurses clean up Nora and get her in a diaper, her lungs definitely working as she cries the whole time. Historia delivers her placenta and she’s also cleaned up and tended to as her body relaxes with exhaustion, the major event of the day having passed. She turns her head and watches the physicians with her baby, Levi’s eyes also never tearing away from Nora’s small body.

 

The nurses encourage Levi to wrap the newborn in a blanket, which he does so with shaking hands, the nurses gently correcting him when he freezes up part way through. He picks her up and holds her, rocking her gently to ease her crying, and the smile that stretches across his lips is like none other Historia has seen before. Warmth blooms in her chest as tears fall from his eyes as well as hers. He looks up at her, his face alight with wonder.

 

“I’m a dad,” Levi tells Historia, his voice quiet in disbelief. She lets out a hoarse laugh.

 

“Yeah, you are.”

 

Levi pulls up a chair as close to Historia’s bedside as he can, placing Nora in her arms before sitting down and leaning in close. “I love you more than anything.”

 

—

 

Some time after the room clears out from delivery and Levi texts the Jaeger siblings that they’re good for visitors, Eren and Mikasa rush up to the room. Eren originally thought Mikasa would have torn anyone’s limb off who would keep her from their niece, but when they had to stop by security to get passes to visit the maternity ward, he’s shocked to see her nervously tell them Historia’s name when asked who they’re visiting. The guard’s face softens when he takes their IDs and gives them passes, telling them kindly, “She’s in room 26C. Congratulations.”

 

They knock to be polite before entering, and they see Historia adjusting her hospital gown on the shoulders before looking up at them with a smile. Her exhaustion is clear, but her smile still reaches her eyes with warmth when she sees them. “Hey. Sorry to keep you waiting so long—we just had to get her to nurse.”

 

“You just had a baby. Why are you apologizing?” Eren chastises, bewildered. Mikasa just looks at Historia in confusion before she turns to Levi, who’s standing with a pink bundle in his arms. He’s giving Mikasa one of his formerly rare smiles that used to be just for her and Carla, one that makes his stormy eyes clear with fondness.

 

“You can hold her, you know,” Historia chimes, her bright eyes glittering with amusement at Mikasa’s awe.

 

“I can?” Mikasa asks timidly.

 

“Of course, you blubbering mess,” Levi answers for her bluntly. “Come here.”

 

Mikasa moves to sit in one of the two chairs by Levi, not trusting her knees to not go weak. Eren muffles his laugh as Mikasa extends her arms like a child wordlessly asking to be picked up, shamelessly eager to hold the new Ackermann. Levi hands over the baby, careful to support her head as Mikasa takes her, cradling her in her arms. “Her name is Nora, right?”

 

“Nora Kuchel,” Levi affirms with a nod of his head. Mikasa lifts her head sharply, her glassy eyes brimming with tears. Levi doesn’t need to explain because Mikasa already understands, her mind flashing to their long gone mother who left this world too soon after doing all she could for them.

 

Instead of mentioning her, Mikasa looks down at the newborn who’s blinking her blue eyes as she fights sleep. “She’s beautiful,” Mikasa whimpers as her tears fall. “She’s just perfect. She has your nose and hair, Levi—but with Historia’s eyes.”

 

Eren’s brilliant green eyes are soft as he fights tears, watching the scene with a full heart. “You made that,” he points out as he gestures to Nora.

 

Levi snorts as Historia giggles. Mikasa smiles but is focused on Nora, who shifts slightly in her arms as she stretches her small arms. “Oh, Eren—hold her before I never let her go.” Eren wants to tease Mikasa, but the words are caught in his throat when he’s handed the sleepy baby, her cheeks rosy as she yawns. He almost immediately holds in a sob as he bites his lip, running a finger along her smooth, chubby arm. Her hand curls around his index finger, her pink skin contrasting with his golden tan that never fades.

 

“I love her!” Eren proclaims as he stifles his tears. Historia leans back against her pillows, sliding her gaze from Eren to Levi, who’s sporting a smile as he watches his siblings. Something dawns on Eren as his eyes widen, making Levi’s eyebrow raise in questioning. “Has anyone called Mom and Dad?”

 

“Yes,” Levi nods. “I called once the delivery room was cleared. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

 

“What about Zeke?” Mikasa adds.

 

“Yes, I called him too,” Levi rolls his eyes, but Historia knows better. He thought of Zeke first but knew he had to talk to Carla and Grisha first or Carla would have his head.

 

Mikasa shares a knowing glance with her older brother before focusing again on the beautiful infant Eren holds against his chest, wondering how Zeke will react to the new addition to the family.

 

* * *

 

Zeke crumbles immediately once he sees Nora. Everyone knew he would drop the act once he held her, but no one anticipated that he would soften up at just the sight of her.

 

Historia hides her laugh behind her hand when Zeke moves his glasses so he can wipe the tears from his eyes.

 

Carla gets first dibs on holding Nora, naturally, and her amber eyes are glassy when she looks up to tell Levi and Historia that she’s proud of them. She adjusts Nora so that the baby is curled up just above her bosom, sighing softly once she’s in place. Grisha looks at the pair fondly, his eyes shimmering behind his glasses. He then moves to Levi, putting a firm hand on his shoulder and squeezing.

 

“You did well, son,” Grisha murmurs.

 

Levi bites the inside of his cheek, too overcome with emotions to say anything in response.

 

Zeke is staring at Nora patiently, and Carla studies him for a brief moment before dropping a kiss to the crown of Nora’s head and nodding at her eldest son. “Come on, honey.” She rises from her seat so she can hand over the dozing baby, helping Zeke adjust his hands so he can support her head while he holds her. He raises his eyebrows as he gazes down at Nora, taking in every feature. She yawns, shutting her blue eyes as she opens her mouth widely, her gums on display for a brief moment. Zeke breaks into a wide smile, a stray tear falling on the lens of his glasses.

 

“Hi, Nora,” he whispers. “I’m your Uncle Zeke.”

 

Levi comes up beside Zeke, crossing his arms as he talks to his adoptive brother quietly. Historia observes them interact with each other and her daughter, who barely has to stir to win over the rough men. Her heart flutters in her chest, her body tingling with happiness as she relaxes. She doesn’t really listen to what they’re saying, only wondering what the future holds in store for her and Levi now that Nora has arrived in their lives. Her thoughts are interrupted with Grisha’s deep voice, his high spirits bringing up the energy in the room.

 

“Alright, alright,” he exclaims. “Hand her over. This grandfather wants a turn to hold the baby.”

 

Historia bellows with laughter at Grisha’s sudden outburst, catching Levi’s gaze as she does so. He smiles at her, and her heart is so full that nothing else matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she's here!!!
> 
> let me know your thoughts please! i'm hoping this was worth the build up. :)
> 
> next chapter will be the last, and technically an epilogue of sorts.
> 
> i really can't express how appreciative i am of all of you for sticking with me this far. each and every one of you reading has made such a difference in me writing this. you're all absolutely lovely. <33
> 
> much love


	14. together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue.

 

Nora’s presence in their lives certainly changed _everything_.

 

A year passes and she is crawling, babbling, and stumbling around on her own. She makes it a few steps before stumbling, but she makes Historia outright sob when she first hears a clear “ _mama_ ” from her daughter’s mouth.

 

They all still reside in the same apartment where Historia stays full-time for now with their child. She intends to return to teaching when Nora is of schooling age, but she would like to take a job working from home if she can find that instead. Levi insists that she doesn’t need to, but it’s more that she _wants_ to. Pride, and all that.

 

On a not so special day in August, Historia comes home from the store with groceries, making her way to the kitchen to put them away. She’s greeted by her child wandering into the kitchen, a wide smile on her face and her arms outstretched toward Historia, who can’t help but scoop her up, leaving her groceries on the counter.

 

Historia balances Nora on her hip, kissing her all over her face. Nora’s dark hair is wild today, but her blue eyes are as bright as ever. Nora giggles at the attention, trying to reciprocate but just getting saliva on Historia’s cheek; she doesn’t mind. “Hi baby girl, mama missed you,” she coos, pressing kisses into the baby’s soft hair. “Nora, where’s daddy?” Nora just bounces in her arms, pointing away from Historia at hearing Levi’s name. She looks through the doorway to their living room and is taken aback when she doesn’t spot her partner. “Levi?” She calls cautiously.

 

After a pause, she relaxed when she hears his voice call, “Bedroom.”

 

Historia takes her time giving Nora attention before she carries her to the bedroom, telling Nora about her day so far on the short journey down the hall. When she opens the door to their room, she stops short in the doorway and she clutches Nora tighter to her instinctively, startled by Levi standing in front of the bed, waiting. He’s in casual clothes, even though he doesn’t work today, because he feels lazy if he stays in pajamas all day. Despite his normal look, Historia can see how tightly wound he is.

 

“You look constipated,” are the first words that fall from Historia’s mouth, and Levi relaxes a tiny bit as he laughs.

 

“Sorry,” he apologizes, stepping forward to close the space between them. He kisses her, lingering only for a moment because Nora is trying to kiss him at the same time. He chuckles and leans in close to his daughter, letting her press her mouth to his cheek, successfully getting baby drool on him. He doesn’t grimace, instead grinning as he pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes it off. Nora then clings to Historia, relaxing on her mother’s shoulder as Historia absently rubs her back.

 

“Why are you hiding in here?” Historia asks curiously.

 

This question makes his anxiety visibly return, but she can see him masking it with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. Her stomach drops at the sight.

 

“Historia,” Levi begins, glancing away from her nervously before looking at her, holding her gaze. He places a hand on her other shoulder as if to ground himself as he talks. “We’ve been together over a year now, and I have loved every second of it. I have loved _you_ every moment, and when Nora came into the picture, I have loved her too with everything I have, and I always will.” He looks at their daughter fondly before focusing on Historia again, her wide eyes questioning but she lets him continue. “Anyway, God, I’m so fu—so bad at this,” he corrects himself, painfully aware that soon Nora will be repeating _everything_ they say—she may not say it clearly now, but she’s trying. “Historia, the point I’m struggling to make is that I love you forever. You’re the mother of our child, and I want you to be my wife for real.”

 

The world around her ceases to exist, and she holds Nora a little closer, her hand covering her little head for a moment as she feels her own spin. She blinks, and then Levi is on one knee before her, holding a small velvet box in his hands. Her vision is blurred with tears and she can’t see the ring in the box.

 

“Historia, if I keep talking I’ll never be able to ask. Will you marry me?”

 

She breathes heavily with a wildly beating heart, and she’s trying _so_ hard not to cry without success. And when she’s just breathing, trying not to be as overwhelmed as she is, Levi really looks like he might _actually_ shit himself.

 

“Please say something,” he quietly pleads, unable to hide his panic. Historia comes back to herself and nods fervently, the biggest smile she’s ever had spreading on her face.

 

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

 

* * *

 

**_three years later…_ **

 

The Jaeger house becomes a regular gathering place several times a year for the whole family.

 

Carla and Grisha love having everyone over, and Zeke always has a new toy for Nora when they visit. Eren and Mikasa remain inseparable, even if it means Jean becomes a new addition to the family—Eren whines occasionally about the new engagement, but it’s all out of endearment now.

 

Nora loves being at the Jaeger home in Shiganshina because it means playing outside as much as she wants, and it means all of her uncles and her aunt Mikasa teaches her how to ride horses. Carla and Grisha fawn over their grandchild, spoiling her rotten whenever they can.

 

This is the childhood Levi hopes he can continue to provide for his daughter—the childhood he never had.

 

The four year old runs around in the grass outside with Zeke stomping around after her dramatically like a giant. He lets out a roar, beating on his chest like a madman as Nora stops to laugh and point at her uncle.

 

“I’m gonna eat you!” Zeke bellows, forcing a frown.

 

“Not if I can help it!” Eren charges at Zeke from out of nowhere, tackling his older brother to the ground by his midsection. Nora squeals with delight and she runs up to jump on top of Eren, claiming herself the victor over both of them.

 

Levi chuckles at the scene before he looks again his phone. He stares at the message he has typed out, internally struggling with whether or not he should send it. Historia and him have had long talks about this, and as much as he wants to avoid it altogether, a part of him does want to make mends with a particular side of his family.

 

Even if it’s at a snail’s pace. His mother would want it, and that’s what makes him send the text to Kenny.

 

_Historia’s pregnant again._

 

Within a moment, he has a response.

 

_Couldn’t keep it in your pants, kid?_

 

Levi rolls his eyes and pockets his phone as Historia approaches him, the back door shutting quietly behind her. She puts her hand on his chest as she gets on her toes to kiss him, lingering for a moment before pulling away as Nora bounds up to hug Historia’s leg. Levi takes Historia’s hand in his own, the simple gold band on his ring finger cool against her skin. She has a matching band that he still doesn’t always believe is really there, but it makes him smile each time he sees it.

 

“Mama!” Nora exclaims. Her blue eyes shine like Historia’s, her smile full of small teeth as she points back to her uncles. “Uncle Zeke and Eren let me go on Daddy’s horse!”

 

Levi’s eyes narrow as he zeroes in on the pair. “You let her near that bast—that animal?!” he recovers from cursing quickly, still finding that part of parenting to be a struggle.

 

“Calm down,” Zeke waves at Levi dismissively as he shoves Eren off of him. “The horse is old and tired, like it’s owner.”

 

Historia laughs at the comment, so Nora thinks it’s okay to laugh, too. Mikasa walks out of the house with a glass of lemonade in her left hand. She grins at Levi stepping up to Zeke and angrily bantering about his horse and how Nora shouldn’t be near it since it kicked Zeke one time, but Eren adds at no one likes Zeke anyway and that’s probably why he got kicked.

 

Mikasa decides an easy way to break up the building fight is with food. “Mom made lemonade and sandwiches,” she announces.

 

“Sandwiches?” Eren is the first to run inside while Zeke perks up at the word as well, both heading inside and ruffling Nora’s dark hair along the way. Nora, however, has different priorities.

 

“Aunt Mika!” she shouts as she runs up to Mikasa, who smiles brightly as she scoops up Nora with her other arm without spilling any of her drink. “Uncle Zeke and Uncle Eren let me ride horses today.”

 

“I know!” Mikasa says excitedly. “I bet you did a great job, didn’t you?”

 

“Uncle Zeke helps me, but I did it mostly by myself,” Nora tells her proudly.

 

While Nora tells Mikasa all about her adventures of the day, Levi crosses his arms and watches his sister with his daughter. He’s lost in thought until Historia’s hand rests on his forearm, slowly prying open his arms. He sighs deeply as he refocuses on Historia before him, looking up at him with fondness in her eyes. His expression softens when she puts her hands on his chest, his own finding her waist.

 

“What are you thinking so much about?” she asks him, eyes glittering in the sunlight.

 

Levi hums thoughtfully. “I’m hoping this next brat is a boy. Between you, Mikasa, Carla, and Zeke, I’m getting outnumbered,” he smirks.

 

Historia tries to scoff, but it comes out as laughter instead as she pulls him by the back of his neck to her level so she can kiss him tenderly. Levi just holds her closer, smiling into her kiss.

 

“Alright lovebirds, come inside when you’re done being gross,” Mikasa teases the couple, making Historia giggle and blush simultaneously. Nora wiggles out of Mikasa’s hold, hurrying up to them to tap on Levi’s leg.

 

“Daddy!” Nora holds her arms up, waiting to be picked up. Levi lets go of Historia to hoist up Nora easily on his hip, grinning at her brilliantly. “I’m hungry, Daddy.”

 

“It’s a good thing that there’s sandwiches inside, then, yeah?” he reminds her. “Nana made them so they must be good.”

 

“Nana makes the best stuff,” Nora nods eagerly.

 

“You can tell her that inside, my love,” he kisses her forehead, making her smile brightly.

 

Mikasa holds the door open for them as they head inside, all the family gathering in the kitchen over Carla’s assembly of food. Historia puts a hand to her abdomen as she looks at this family—her family. Her heart swells in her chest as she focuses on Levi, holding Nora with one hand while putting together a plate with his other, nodding as she talks endlessly the entire time. Their daughter is as talkative as Eren, loves everyone quickly, and can wrap anyone around her little finger with a flash of her bright smile. Historia can see the best of her and Levi in Nora, and she hopes she can foster nothing but love in the little girl so that she never feels a shred of loneliness that brought Levi and her together.

 

When Nora plants a sloppy kiss to Levi’s cheek before he sets her down at the table to eat, Historia smiles.

 

Levi looks up at her, his eyes meeting hers in a moment of quiet connection. He sees that she’s lost in thought so he comes up to her, gently putting his hand to the small of her back. “Hey,” he murmurs. “Are you okay? Feeling sick?”

 

“Oh—no,” she shakes her head, her voice soft as she gazes up at him. “I’m good. Everything’s perfect.”

 

He gives her a small smile, the worry leaving his expression. “Good. Sit down and eat, princess.” He kisses the crown of her head before pulling out her chair for her.

 

Historia looks from Levi to Nora, to the rest of her family, and everything else simply falls into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i...don't really have many words. this is it.
> 
> i didn't anticipate this story becoming a multi-chaptered rollercoaster of a ride, but i'm so proud of this. this is my first multi-chaptered piece i've finished and i'm so happy i got to share it with each and every one of you. to all of you - to those who gave kudos, to those who left comments, to those who bookmarked this story, to all those who gave my story a chance: **thank you.**
> 
> if you're interested in other rivahisu writing, i have plenty on my page. i'll have another multi-chaptered rivahisu fic coming out in the near future that's a canon-divergent story, too. i'm also on tumblr as little--lotte.
> 
> once again, thank you, to all of you.
> 
> much love


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